Penkkis
Finland
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
lolfayce
United States
Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML
HDCkid
United States
Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML
mack
Canada
Skittish
Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
KWM
United States
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
lonelynessinCA
United States
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
lonesome
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Dude, you OK?
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
Anonymous
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
bottombarrel
Greenville, United States
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Anonymous
Poor choices were made
Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I have to hand it to you, that makes me want to give you the finger. Pathetic losers like you grate on me like nails on a chalkboard. Go somewhere warm and sunny with palm trees, find a cuticle guy, and have some fun! I'm not yelling though...think of this more as a slap on the wrist. Maybe you've left already since you know I'm right.
Llamassss 21
Get a dog.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
lmaoatall 6
Do you have a thing for thing?
pulkit10 3
yes, but only if it has the creepy laugh everytime you try to touch the hand.
Mitch_Connor 11
Looks like they finally *puts on sunglasses* CAME IN HANDY
sklorange 5
You "tried"? How did it not work?
I_am_hungry 5
Maybe the gaps between its fingers weren't big enough for hers?
leadman1989 16
Why didn't you buy the skeleton? At least he could give you a bone.
CandiCupz_1990 1
Poor baby. *Hugs*
thiscrazything 1
You need to get out more. Try volunteering.
lksdliz 9
As an "old lady", I have to say that this is what comes of too much Facebook and not enough "face time" out in the real world... There are too many posts along these lines and you people are freaking me out. Gotta go places and do things now. With PEOPLE.
ndhin831 2
I hope you weren't looking for warmth and understanding from FML. There are other resources, go find them.
HumanFreakshow 5
I'll be your friend, you little loner, you ;)
Christianrules 1
Can I be your " Friend" ;)?