Penkkis
Finland
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
lolfayce
United States
Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML
HDCkid
United States
Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML
mack
Canada
Skittish
Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
KWM
United States
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
lonelynessinCA
United States
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
lonesome
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Dude, you OK?
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
Anonymous
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
bottombarrel
Greenville, United States
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Anonymous
Poor choices were made
Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I have to hand it to you, that makes me want to give you the finger. Pathetic losers like you grate on me like nails on a chalkboard. Go somewhere warm and sunny with palm trees, find a cuticle guy, and have some fun! I'm not yelling though...think of this more as a slap on the wrist. Maybe you've left already since you know I'm right.
Llamassss 21
Get a dog.
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Comments (92)
sugarkiller_fml 6
Nothing else to cheer you up rather than holding hands?
sciencekidster1 8
He's always there for you
deviable 9
Usually the "I was so lonely" FMLs annoy me, but this one is pretty sad.
corrinaswan 0
I play pranks with mine or wen I'm with my friends I pretend to shake hands with it
perdix 31
What do you mean you tried? Were you not able to succeed? Did the thing spring to life, slap your hand away and say, "I'm designed to frighten and disgust people, but even I have standards, you creep!"
perdix 31
*What do you mean you "tried?"
herpitydurteedur 0
Forever alone
Llamassss 21
I believe that "tried" references that the "horror hand" was limp and did not hold her hand as well.
maddy1028 0
21- best comment ever!
s24sammy 8
what you need is a ***** hand
92910bg 4
It's going to run away tile thing from the Adams family
loserman67 36
Did you give yourself a Horror Hand job???
nolarboot 10
This would be excellent, but the OP is female. Thumbs-up anyway.
zombiekitten87 12
Ummmmmm. That sounds very much like a warning sign for "you might be a serial killer if--"
pulkit10 3
but he was so ronery!