Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML
Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML
Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
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Top comments
on_a_boat 0
I sincerely hope that this is a fake : That's just completely terrible :(
altna 4
That's just enormous amount of pure fail. You fall asleep while you should be looking after their kids AND you kill their kitten. I hope you don't do this regularly.
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Comments (308)
chunkymonkey618 0
Wow, I feel bad for you. I hope this is fake, but you know...whatever you do, don't tell them that you did it. Say you found it like that. Sorry, dude...:(
rabbit_fml 0
**** you, fat piece of shit.
mattmag 0
#55, they are being paid to do a job. If you sleep at work, you get fired. And if you kill your boss's pet, you deserve to be arrested.
crrnmarv 0
hahaha thats not cool dude
BB360 0
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FML EVER!
awillowcabin 0
That's ****** up.
awillowcabin 0
Totally agree with #215. People can take care of themselves - certain animals depend on people.
begrunge 0
"Today, i was snuggled up warm on a couch. i was born 4 weeks ago, and know nothing of the dangers of the world. Then, some person came up and snuggled with me while they were supposed to be watching my owners children. she rolled over and crushed me to death. FML." i dont blame you for snuggling up with the cat, but falling asleep while you were supposed to be watching the kids was just a dumb-ass thing to do. YDI.
scorpiogirl666 0
thank you, 253. finally someone who doesn't hate my opinion.
Pokerdance 0
You. DO NOT. Fall asleep. While babysitting. PERIOD. I don't care if the kids are sleeping or not, you get paid to protect, not to lay around and snooze. And I know it was an accident, but your idiotic actions terminated the life of a sweet, innocent creature. I hope this stays with you for the rest of your life. Think twice before you sleep while taking care of kids. I hope you get sued for destruction of property and the family wins. You TOTALLY deserved it.