Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML
Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML
Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
on_a_boat 0
I sincerely hope that this is a fake : That's just completely terrible :(
altna 4
That's just enormous amount of pure fail. You fall asleep while you should be looking after their kids AND you kill their kitten. I hope you don't do this regularly.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (308)
Fa7_fml 0
This isn't **** YOUR life, it's more like **** the kitty's life. Its short life... Good job moron!
BaldOuting 0
i also hope this is a fake - that is soooo sad!
bahario 0
Wow, I'm extremely depressed now. ):
antihero7 0
**** you. You're a ******* failure.
mandyc 0
i hate you so much.
christutta 0
omg that sucks so much u must have felt like shit when you woke up i think i would have had a heart attack and #282 it's "alpha male" but #282 is right, it's not like she did that on purpose
sportastef 0
Wow, have you never heard of all the times a mother has accidentally suffocated their infant by rolling on it? The parents must have been pissed.
dailyprophet 0
good job, asshole. if it were my pet i'd ******* want to kick your ass. you're lucky if the parents forgive you, but they'll probably never want you to babysit again.
sachux0x 0
i feel really bad for laughing...that sucks man...this would be a great cyanide & happiness though
rendezvous 0
#263 hit the nail on the nose. Cats die every day and none of you give a shit about that. Hypocrites. In response to the fml... that just sucks. =/ Hopefully you can at least get them another kitty.