Transportation: Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers... - FML

By Hm - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33852

You deserved it

2290

Tweet

Share

Late term

Buzzing the tower

Breaking Badly

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20020

You deserved it

104098

Tweet

Share

By pray for me

Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1855

You deserved it

310

Tweet

Share

By HBCRUISER

Today, I had to go to the local UPS store to sign for a package with providing I.D. shipped to me. I had no idea who had sent the package. After signing for the package, I opened it and saw that I had signed for an empty package. I actually paid for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2535

You deserved it

266

Tweet

Share

By JulleandCici - France

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35522

You deserved it

4916

Tweet

Share

By Ecolo-girl - France - Quint

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21926

You deserved it

2007

Tweet

Share

By Mondo - United States

Today, an old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26961

You deserved it

5942

Tweet

Share

By m2k - Canada

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32380

You deserved it

7902

Tweet

Share

By TheVirginJenny - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32825

You deserved it

7721

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to power through work on a construction site after a couple of sick days. I can't do anything without constantly sucking on cough drops. And it turns out that excessive consumption of cough drops can have a laxative effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18688

You deserved it

1993

Tweet

Share

By forever damaged - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21612

You deserved it

1618

Tweet

Share

By hopeless-.- - United States

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31075

You deserved it

7449

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34852

You deserved it

3503

Tweet

Share

By stephiew - United States

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27594

You deserved it

2514

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26411

You deserved it

2008

Tweet

Share

By - France

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25254

You deserved it

3741

Tweet

Share

By -.- - United States

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56060

You deserved it

8045

Tweet

Share

By ritz - United States

Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10501

You deserved it

55940

Tweet

Share

By mc - France

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21746

You deserved it

2312

Tweet

Share

By I need a new ballsack. - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30289

You deserved it

4457

Tweet

Share

By sorenips - Canada

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30850

You deserved it

3826

Tweet

Share

By fatty fatfuck - 10/5/2020 17:00

You can't win

Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2129

You deserved it

182

Tweet

Share

By Uncomfortable

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62615

You deserved it

5304

Tweet

Share

By coughcough - United States

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46025

You deserved it

4017

Tweet

Share

By This girl - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29246

You deserved it

3375

Tweet

Share

By Anonyme - Switzerland

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12412

You deserved it

46539

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Macon

Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24249

You deserved it

2430

Tweet

Share

By MalariaFree - Uganda

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45779

You deserved it

3311

Tweet

Share

By WTFFAIL - Canada - Montreal

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25492

You deserved it

8943

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41398

You deserved it

4484

Tweet

Share

By janmesh - 6/11/2020 11:01 - Germany - Köln

Stay indoors, make new friends!

Today, i found myself talking to the rat living under my wardrobe as if he was my friend. It's only day 2 of the partial lockdown in Germany. FML

I agree, your life sucks

733

You deserved it

146

Tweet

Share

By burn - United States

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34876

You deserved it

3474

Tweet

Share

By erinbarto

Soon.

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1285

You deserved it

113

Tweet

Share

By BadFather - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14683

You deserved it

42804

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34139

You deserved it

8528

Tweet

Share

By IPityTheStool - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38387

You deserved it

7577

Tweet

Share

By James

Today, I asked the restaurant manager if he could arrange to deliver an engagement ring to me and my girlfriend with our desserts. Desserts came, no ring. That guy wasn’t the manager, just a guy in a suit who legged it with my ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1183

You deserved it

1947

Tweet

Share

By Sammy - United States

Today, I re-broke my leg. The same way I broke it the first time, playing frisbee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24923

You deserved it

13872

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/4/2020 20:00

Stir crazy

Today, I was so bored under quarantine, I spent 2 hours on a colouring book for toddlers. I need human contact, any human, desperately, before I start talking to the walls or seeing pink elephants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1350

You deserved it

218

Tweet

Share

By dickbag - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my mom hates my grandmother (her mother-in-law) so much that she's trying to guilt me into not visiting her when I come home for Thanksgiving. I wouldn't be coming home for Thanksgiving in the first place, but my grandmother bought me the plane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23340

You deserved it

1423

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Irvine

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46827

You deserved it

8212

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By nattlecakes | 19

#6237868 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:01

Awe man. Hope you at least got everything back. They are always so rough with luggage. I know they've broken a few of my suitcases :/

By acommonman | 23

#6237870 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:02

Come on man, get locks next time.

COMMENTS

By MrCareless | 17

#6237865 - Friday 20 March 2015 6:59

Always those darn baggage handlers!! FYL OP

By oloofe | 22

#6237867 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:01

Atleast you didn't go through the wrong gate to another plane.

Reply

oloofe | 22

#6237928 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:51

*At least the luggage didn't go through the wrong gate to another plane

By nattlecakes | 19

#6237868 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:01

Awe man. Hope you at least got everything back. They are always so rough with luggage. I know they've broken a few of my suitcases :/

By may14th | 26

#6237869 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:01

they give no fucks about people's bags

By acommonman | 23

#6237870 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:02

Come on man, get locks next time.

Reply

rocketgurl | 15

#6237900 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:29

Most airlines make you remove the locks before checking your bag

Reply

EatUrGreens | 20

#6237959 - Friday 20 March 2015 8:43

And then you can put the lock back on..

Reply

Si123 | 33

#6237961 - Friday 20 March 2015 8:53

#16 Erm they only make you remove the locks for hand luggage and OP wasn't talking about hand luggage so OP either didn't have a lock when he should've or his suitcase broke

Reply

ladybugz23 | 13

#6238196 - Friday 20 March 2015 15:14

next time use duck tape. it helps

Reply

rocketgurl | 15

#6238820 - Saturday 21 March 2015 7:03

No they don't care about locked hand baggage. That all goes through a scanner. They don't want your checked baggage going in the belly of the plane to be locked, because they have the right to search it. Have you people ever checked baggage before??

Reply

Verotten | 0

#6239630 - Sunday 22 March 2015 3:23

Who the heck do you fly with? Is this a US airline thing? My checked luggage is ALWAYS locked, and I've never had a problem. And I've flown a LOT. Only thing is that they may break the lock to search, but I've never had it happen.

Reply

nattlecakes | 19

#6242573 - Wednesday 25 March 2015 5:24

#45 yeah US airlines are much more strict ever since 9/11. It's a huge deal here and we have all sort of crazy rules and regulations at airports now

By roxyroller20 | 15

#6237871 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:02

Hopefully you will get most of your stuff back!

By whitnayfortooh | 29

#6237873 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:03

Damn that really sucks op!

By henrylikestreats | 22

#6237874 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:04

This definitely needs a follow up. What ended up happening? Hopefully you got all of your stuff back!

By ronzi | 15

#6237878 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:08

I hope you got all your stuff. This just sucks :(

By OhWhoCares | 42

#6237884 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:14

This stresses me out just to read, let alone actually having to deal with this. OP, I hope everything was able to be repacked! Also hopefully you didn't lose anything! :(