Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers... - FML

By Hm - 20/3/2015 00:54 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML

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Proactive

Instadrama

Delayed proposal

By wendtinmypants - 31/5/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

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By wowthanksworld - 22/3/2013 15:42 - United States

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

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By shamed - 5/11/2011 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

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By Anonymous - 3/2/2013 07:14 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

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By burgerpants - 8/5/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was feeling down so I thought I'd order a burger to cheer myself up. The website I ordered from featured Instagram pics of their customers. My ex and the guy she cheated on me with were front and center. FML

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By oldlady - 8/11/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

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By captainocd - 19/8/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

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By helpme - 4/12/2013 04:05 - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

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By Hth - 15/1/2009 11:14 - United States

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

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By lfssecond - 30/5/2009 18:04 - United States

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/7/2013 20:57 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

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By LegallyBored - 16/12/2016 21:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, my roommate went away for the weekend so she could hook up with a guy from Tinder that she's never met. This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't already made plans for my 18th birthday, which is also today. Here's to a night of Netflix with my dog. FML

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By ipaid350dollarsfornothing - 15/3/2013 07:09 - Qatar

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

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By driving me crazy - 26/5/2017 16:00

Today, I had to temporarily relocate to my brother's room after mine was being repainted. Not only do I have to sleep on the floor, but I also have to put up with my brother and dog both snoring loudly. What's worse is that they alternate in snoring. Goodbye sleep. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

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By lovehurts - 14/10/2013 16:02 - United States - Wayne

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

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By Nikki Lynn Richardson - 18/5/2020 02:00

Late arrival

Today, I went to the store to go buy a pregnancy test because my period was 7 days late. I get home, go into the bathroom, pull down my underwear, pee and come to find out I'd started my period when I looked at it after peeing on it. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/4/2012 13:53 - Australia - Perth

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

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By RecentCollegeGrad - 17/6/2015 18:09

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 12:28 - Australia

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

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By MrsRODixon - 5/3/2015 12:38 - United Kingdom - Pencoed

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

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By anonymous - 17/9/2013 17:52 - United States

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

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By ohgodwhy - 10/2/2012 09:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

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By Jess - 5/12/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

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By baddriver - 31/1/2012 17:17 - United States

Today, I went to the DMV to get my license. I almost ran over my evaluator as he was walking to get in the car. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2009 02:11 - Canada

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

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By TheKingDavis - 14/2/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

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By superfreak6 - 20/5/2016 13:25 - United States - New Orleans

Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML

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By - 18/11/2019 20:00

Hopeless

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, then, my wife told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2013 17:42 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/5/2012 11:29 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

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By longdrive - 14/10/2014 05:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/6/2017 16:00

Today, I went to fetch our bins after they were collected, only to scare the child that was trying to fit inside our compost bin. Apparently, she's not allowed to play in hers because she already broke two by doing this. These bins are $75 a piece. FML

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By noname - 20/3/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2015 15:43 - United States - Corona

Today, I nearly got written up at work for missing an important memo. The memo was sent to everyone via the company Facebook group and not by our e-mail system. My manager could hardly believe people exist who have no Facebook account and have no intention of making one. FML

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By TooNoisy4Me - 4/7/2016 09:46 - United States - Bellerose

Today, like every year, my next-door neighbors started setting off their fireworks at exactly midnight. Also, like every year, the sensitive car alarm belonging to another neighbor has gone off with every firework. It's been almost six hours of nonstop alarms and explosions. FML

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By hardgraderorhardass - 24/2/2016 04:46 - United States - Bridgewater

Today, my English professor bragged to my entire class about how good my essay was. He kept on saying great things about it for the duration of class. To my surprise, he'd given me a C-. When I asked why, his only response was: "I'm a hard grader." FML

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By 800z - 16/8/2011 06:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/1/2015 00:37 - United States - Mantua

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/9/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML

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Top comments

By nattlecakes | 19

#6237868 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:01

Awe man. Hope you at least got everything back. They are always so rough with luggage. I know they've broken a few of my suitcases :/

By acommonman | 23

#6237870 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:02

Come on man, get locks next time.

COMMENTS

By MrCareless | 17

#6237865 - Friday 20 March 2015 6:59

Always those darn baggage handlers!! FYL OP

By oloofe | 22

#6237867 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:01

Atleast you didn't go through the wrong gate to another plane.

Reply

oloofe | 22

#6237928 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:51

*At least the luggage didn't go through the wrong gate to another plane

By nattlecakes | 19

#6237868 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:01

Awe man. Hope you at least got everything back. They are always so rough with luggage. I know they've broken a few of my suitcases :/

By may14th | 26

#6237869 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:01

they give no fucks about people's bags

By acommonman | 23

#6237870 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:02

Come on man, get locks next time.

Reply

rocketgurl | 15

#6237900 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:29

Most airlines make you remove the locks before checking your bag

Reply

EatUrGreens | 20

#6237959 - Friday 20 March 2015 8:43

And then you can put the lock back on..

Reply

Si123 | 31

#6237961 - Friday 20 March 2015 8:53

#16 Erm they only make you remove the locks for hand luggage and OP wasn't talking about hand luggage so OP either didn't have a lock when he should've or his suitcase broke

Reply

ladybugz23 | 13

#6238196 - Friday 20 March 2015 15:14

next time use duck tape. it helps

Reply

rocketgurl | 15

#6238820 - Saturday 21 March 2015 7:03

No they don't care about locked hand baggage. That all goes through a scanner. They don't want your checked baggage going in the belly of the plane to be locked, because they have the right to search it. Have you people ever checked baggage before??

Reply

Verotten | 0

#6239630 - Sunday 22 March 2015 3:23

Who the heck do you fly with? Is this a US airline thing? My checked luggage is ALWAYS locked, and I've never had a problem. And I've flown a LOT. Only thing is that they may break the lock to search, but I've never had it happen.

Reply

nattlecakes | 19

#6242573 - Wednesday 25 March 2015 5:24

#45 yeah US airlines are much more strict ever since 9/11. It's a huge deal here and we have all sort of crazy rules and regulations at airports now

By roxyroller20 | 15

#6237871 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:02

Hopefully you will get most of your stuff back!

By whitnayfortooh | 29

#6237873 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:03

Damn that really sucks op!

By henrylikestreats | 22

#6237874 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:04

This definitely needs a follow up. What ended up happening? Hopefully you got all of your stuff back!

By ronzi | 15

#6237878 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:08

I hope you got all your stuff. This just sucks :(

By OhWhoCares | 42

#6237884 - Friday 20 March 2015 7:14

This stresses me out just to read, let alone actually having to deal with this. OP, I hope everything was able to be repacked! Also hopefully you didn't lose anything! :(