Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
chaseafterwind82 29
'Love is in the air'- wait, no, that isn't love... :-(
MrSarary 26
It's never safe or nice to let one rip in a coffee shop .. FYL but also YDI
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Comments (65)
tormcn 26
I would have been like ew.. did you just fart? After, walk away. Leave him confused.
LilMissCanadian 22
...աtʄ
radarsat 13
This is so fake, everyone knows girls don't fart
lulu889x 22
Better off not knowing him, you need to find someone hat you can have a fart conversation through the phone with.
lovelockdown23 23
Lol its not like he knew it was a fart he probably thought that you just stink really bad which is worse.
enginsteve 17
Farts are literally little shit particles generated by someone's ass and enter your body through your nose. I get a smug satisfaction when I fart and others smell it, as they are literally eating my shit. Elevators are the best, like a cluster bomb! OP, do not be ashamed of your true power. Instead, grab it, embrace it, and learn to control it. Once you are able to harness the powers from the deep, and focus it like a Care Bear stare, only then will you have obtained inner peace.
RedPillSucks 33
no, the best is farting on the up stairs with someone behind you.
Insanemf18 12
Someone's been playing South Park the stick of truth
Idahome 6
at least op learned why she's still single.
peacheso 31
OP never mentioned her status.
beeferjay 34
go easy on the cheese Charlie... how much cheese have you eaten?
MalekiMaker99 22
How much cheese is too much cheese?
cmchappy 25
Any amount of cheese is too much cheese
JuzReading 23
He should be glad your bodily functions are still in order.
Carlitosfmc 18
Maybe he was a creeper and you just dodged a bullet!
theRonin 18
You could be alone in the middle of the desert but the moment you decide to fart, a whole ******* marching band will come out of no where to get a wiff... I hate that