Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML
Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
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Top comments
Catsht 11
How did you raise such a wuss? By being the kind of parent to drive 40 miles to kill a spider for him.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Who made you drive in the first place? Your son may be a wimp, but you're a pushover for going to his house just to kill a spider.
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Comments (25)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Who made you drive in the first place? Your son may be a wimp, but you're a pushover for going to his house just to kill a spider.
Sinshine 28
Exactly my thoughts. If he wants or, he'll have to get past the spider or sit there all day until his wife comes home. That'd give him time to think about what a wimp he is.
Glowworm56 27
"Worry not, son, the monster slayer is here!"
Lennie Mcfish 19
Are you sure he doesn't have arachnophobia? Or allergic to spider bites?
Notamusedanymore 17
To be fair spiders are children of Satan.
Lennie Mcfish 19
you have to burn them with fire
samomaha 17
Safest way is to grab your pets, your laptop, put them in the car, and burn the house down. You can rebuild. Later.
Catsht 11
How did you raise such a wuss? By being the kind of parent to drive 40 miles to kill a spider for him.
interesting33 37
he might have a very severe phobia of spiders which needs treating by a professional psychiatrist. this sounnds like the case of he is scared enough he genuinely can't leave the room and had to ask you to drive over that far too. it sounds like it is really interfering.eith both your lives. if it is a phobia then it is not a case of 'you raised him' or anything and doesn't mean he is a wuss..they can be caused by lots of things I think and are very real and debilitating.
Deez_Knots 10
Did U make sure to stop on the way to get him more tampons
Lady Taterthot 8
Dude gfy
julfunky 29
This will be me. ... If I ever move out.
real life problems 26
Just remember one thing, you're never more than 6 feet from a spider when you're in a house.
julfunky 29
Nope. I spray with Home Defense and some other brand, liberally, every summer. Do some get across through other means? Sure. But not many. Not enough for that to be true.
Charlie Given 28
Did the Mighty Mouse theme song start playing when you burst through the door 😏 but in all fairness of they are that frightened of spiders that is a phobia not a fear 🤔
thatslifeiguess7 16
Yep that's why we know our daughter is never leaving