Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was released from jail. Why was I in jail? Last night, I used my taser on a much larger, drunken male individual who wouldn't physically keep his hands off me, despite me telling him to back off. Everything was on camera outside the bar, yet I'm the one who was arrested. Thank you California laws. FML
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML
Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML
Today, I was in the library when police arrested me for threatening people. The librarian even told them I did nothing wrong, and that the actual girl they wanted had already left. They took me in anyway. My dad sided with the police and let me “think about what I did” in jail overnight. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, I was arrested on my 25th birthday and thrown in jail overnight for impersonating myself. FML
Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML
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Top comments
EngineerJane 0
That's today society for you. All males are rapist and all females are goddesses.
indiablue 4
sucks to be you!
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Comments (106)
PhunkyMagic 0
FYL.
Calyx_fml 22
There was a time when children were raised by the whole community. Those times are gone. Thank the culture of ownership brought to you by the agricultural revolution.
kingtz 6
Op, fyl for what happened, but wtf does any of this even have to do with ' Intimacy'? Other than the child molester you were mistaken for being intimate with children?
metallicshadow 16
gotta love the justice system in the US...
CiaraLovesYouu 0
I don't help kids, I kick them (:
Kua_Mei 0
This is why I have decided that I will no longer interact with, look at, or otherwise acknowledge children once I turn 18. Well, at least not when there are overzealous law enforcement officers present. I mean, seriously, how would that warrant tasing (SP?) and detainment? FYL
dansco 25
Released from jail eh? What for?! These days its best to leave kids who hurt themselves or get lost etc as you can get called or accused of child molester :(
foremostsucks1 0
I can see where they are coming from if the guy is wanted bad enough but u would think that if ur holding the kid and they accidentally tase the kid well all hell would break lose
Fuzzwolf 3
I would sue the hell out of them for wrongful detention or something. Stupid ass police should be able to figure these things quicker that that -.-
wtfcammelcheese 0
u should c if u can sue I'm sure there's some law about having to say stop and all that