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This reminds me of that one time I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by wearing a dress for my boyfriend. It may sound completely unrelated to the FML, but it totally leads in to the whole thing. M'kay, so there I was, in full drag and with freshly-braided nipples, wearing a fake beard made out of Perdix' crotch hair, and cow's blood smeared on my lips in a cheap and yet magnificent imitation of the vintage lipstick of old. Once I'd finished sexily morris-dancing to the tune of Call on Me, I lifted my dress up sexily, anticipating an immediate ravishing, and all the glorious sounds of pealing thunder that would ensue. So what does he do? He only calls me a freak for wearing my frilly edible teletubbies panties inside out on a fucking LUNAR ECLIPSE. I mean, what the dick, people? Here I am, trying to be sexy for my man, and I'M the bad guy? Is there no justice in this world? Wee-woo.

I live in the sewers, and your ring fit my new fiancée perfectly :) thank you for your donation.

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This reminds me of that one time I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by wearing a dress for my boyfriend. It may sound completely unrelated to the FML, but it totally leads in to the whole thing. M'kay, so there I was, in full drag and with freshly-braided nipples, wearing a fake beard made out of Perdix' crotch hair, and cow's blood smeared on my lips in a cheap and yet magnificent imitation of the vintage lipstick of old. Once I'd finished sexily morris-dancing to the tune of Call on Me, I lifted my dress up sexily, anticipating an immediate ravishing, and all the glorious sounds of pealing thunder that would ensue. So what does he do? He only calls me a freak for wearing my frilly edible teletubbies panties inside out on a fucking LUNAR ECLIPSE. I mean, what the dick, people? Here I am, trying to be sexy for my man, and I'M the bad guy? Is there no justice in this world? Wee-woo.

Yea I get how this is related to the FML..

Big fucking mistake man, you should NEVER wear your panties inside out. I commend you though for having the guts to share this story with us. Confessing you made a beard out of perdix' crotch hair must have taken some courage. I mean, everyone will think you're a ginger now. Also, I get the feeling the dress you were wearing was made of leather, and with your figure.. no offense, but that wasn't a smart move. If you ever want some advice how to properly turn your boyfriend on, you should send a private message to rallets. He'll help you out.

Rofl God I love mod intervention on the retards who post stupid comments on #1. xD Always a hoot.

What the hell, you're 14. This is what's wrong with the world today.

Oh my god...Morris Dancing *shudders* The mods rock.

You dumbass. You're ALWAYS supposed to wear POWER RANGER panties! Everyone knows that! When will people learn?! There's no hope for you now. Your boyfriend will dump you for Perdix because he likes the way his crotch hair looks. You might as well just go jump on a table of forks with the sharp ends pointing up.

Calm down Sally...

dude 14 high five ppl need to like jump off a cliff now these days

What the fuck, #1? You are one deranged son of a bitch. A FREAK, dare I say. What the hell is wrong with you that you'd post an admission like that on FML of all places? You're a 14 year old boy, for god's sake. Well, I say "boy", and yet you really can't be considered male after that confession, can you? You sicken me for even thinking to put underwear on when there's a lunar eclipse out. Don't you know that's the surest way to bring misfortune and death upon your loved ones? Also... braided nipples? Fucking sicko.

Pssst...dude...where'd you get the edible teletubbies panties? Not for me, for...um, a friend...

God fucking damnit, Sirin. Not again!

DOC, THE EDIBLE TELETUBBIES UNDERWEAR THAT YOU ORDERED ARE HERE! Consider it a favor.

what the hell. if I had one wish, it'd be too un-know that

14 and MALE!!!!! this comment made me wanna punch babies in the face :P

.... I just licked my iphone looking for the acid that inspired this comment.

dude everyone has qurks u probly do freaky stuff too

You had me at Perdix crotch hair. Your boyfriend doesn't realize what he is missing out on.

vancouver canada woot!!!

kolden, much agreed. I am scarred.

I guess I'm the only one who thinks the mods went a little overboard with this? It's just a 14 year old kid.

All I'm gona say is WTF???

this has to be a troll

Its a fucking joke people, calm down.

so you didn't get someone to open the sewer

Right? There's such a thing as a manhole.

I'm sure you know all about manholes.

hahaha this is y I love FML

It was just taunting you.

If it was such a warm day, then why was it iced up? I have a feeling this fml was made up. Along with the other 82272373 fml's. Sorry to crush your dreams kids. and btw Santa isn't real... :)

because believe it or not, when the sun cones out, the day gets warmer! weird I know.

hahahahah 111, you're fantastic.

121- Take another a photo this time with the camera pointing more towards your chest :)

That's just a bad day

Haha so close but yet so far

HAHA i feel no remorse for you

ooohh I'm so sorry:~(

why did you take it off?

Yeah.. How do you "accidentally" drop an engagement ring? You had to have been messing with it or had it off your hand.. Which isn't smart when you're by sewers.

I live in the sewers, and your ring fit my new fiancée perfectly :) thank you for your donation.

thats creepy and wierd........

So you're the one who's been stealing my water?! Now give it back or else!

But I thought only alligators and rats lived in the sewers. Which one are you and how did you make the ring fit?

This sounds like a Futurama reference.

Mole people live in the sewers.

I love y'all trolls