Saturday night fever

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 08:09

Today, I was arrested on my 25th birthday and thrown in jail overnight for impersonating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 171

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/08/2019 00:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was arrested for a crime that happened 27 years ago. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 579

You deserved it 137

By Chase - 15/05/2017 18:00

Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 332

You deserved it 6 384

By Anonymous - 01/02/2018 19:00

Today, because I left my wallet at home, I got arrested for "underage smoking." I'm 32 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 738

You deserved it 675

Sobering

By Imnotfromhere - 13/06/2021 16:01

Today, I went to a bar to celebrate my 26th birthday. I got ripped off by the bartender all night because she secretly gave me non-alcoholic versions of my drinks. Apparently I look like I'm 16, so she thought my ID was fake. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 187

By CJ 84 - 19/01/2019 14:00

Today, I stopped and helped a young lady stuck on the side of the road. Guess who got accused of forcing myself and got charged with impersonating a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 518

You deserved it 269

By ForeverYoung - 17/08/2019 12:00

Today, I got mistaken for a high school freshman. It’s my 23rd birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 241

By ididntevendrinkthatnight - 07/06/2013 05:14 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing, "Happy Birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 905

You deserved it 3 983

By darknight - 21/07/2019 02:03

Today, I found out that pretending to be a bum begging for money can get you stuck in a jail cell for a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 3 912

By Noname - 22/02/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 408

You deserved it 76 540

Unruly meets incompetence

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the library when police arrested me for threatening people. The librarian even told them I did nothing wrong, and that the actual girl they wanted had already left. They took me in anyway. My dad sided with the police and let me “think about what I did” in jail overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 82

distortedcognition 17

Sunday 14 June 2020 8:26

What’s the story on that?

Vesi 29

Sunday 14 June 2020 21:20

Not to mention Dolly Parton lost in a Dolly look-alike contest.. to a drag queen. =)

Comments

distortedcognition 17

Sunday 14 June 2020 8:26

What’s the story on that?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 14 June 2020 8:49

You must be really bad at acting like yourself. I'll bet they'll drop the charges for insufficient evidence.

Seeya55 31

Sunday 14 June 2020 17:48

Did you know there was a contest as to who could be Charlie Chaplin the best? Charlie Chaplin himself entered and didn't even win!

Vesi 29

Sunday 14 June 2020 21:20

Not to mention Dolly Parton lost in a Dolly look-alike contest.. to a drag queen. =)

alvarny 17

Sunday 14 June 2020 20:39

I guess “be yourself” is bad advice now?

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 15 June 2020 12:39

How?

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The Top

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 382

You deserved it 60 097

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 115

The Top

Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 526

Today, I fucked up a relationship, by accident, and then they broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 684

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 594

You deserved it 9 127

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said, "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 764

You deserved it 41 238

Today, I was left at home alone while my friends went on a trip to Paris I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 419

You deserved it 663

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 5 645