Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
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Top comments
kickazz16 15
What did you expect? A cookie?
Grimmerie 31
Did you recently suffer a sharp blow to the head?
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Comments (167)
alpacamybooks 11
How did you mix them up? Seriously.
athena3100 9
Ich bin ein Berliner! Lol I'm a jelly filled dounut!
keshaforever1 14
Good job! *gives nothing for stupidness*
crazyquestions 4
I love it when people use fml as an excuse to brag about their own accomplishments and calling the OP stupid at the same time (hint hint 56) give her a damn break, she's learning and is expected of her to make mistakes.
mfbeezy11 0
Lol
TessaV 3
I'm so sorry I speak French and I guess when your brain is focused on deciphering that language it's hard to recognize English. It has happened to me only with my cousin who's French. Needless to say I was pink ^IN the face.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Dumbshit. How would you not notice it was in English?
BloodyBlackRose 0
Lol that's funny but you'll get it
coolsk8rdude 0
Good for you reading german! and don't worry, I mix them up all the time cause my first language is German and I live in Canada
xXEmzzXx 0
Herp derp!