Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
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Top comments
kickazz16 15
What did you expect? A cookie?
Grimmerie 31
Did you recently suffer a sharp blow to the head?
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Comments (167)
exohazard 6
I sense a blonde
KiddNYC1O 22
I sense a turd.
Joey44 15
In my head you were instantly one of the Texan people on another site I post on, but you most likely aren't. Either way, this is very cute - although you did deserve your husband's reaction - and from a fellower beginner at German, keep going! Are you a fan of any of the Neue Deutsche Härte bands?
Bonns_fml 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Das kommt davon wenn man deutsche Bücher liest. Nobody in his right mind would want to learn german it's a horrible language. If you can't even keep the languages apart you shouldn't bother trying to learn german - you would be having a LOT of trouble keeping those irragular verbs and the definite articles apart ;) no offence!
Icecream93 4
dude I speak german french dutch and english I have no probs
Joey44 15
'A horrible language'... wow. Okay. You'd think I'd be used to brainless morons on the internet by now, but hey, I guess I'm not.
Okayitwasme 0
Narrow minded you need more decaf. Or more de something.
drawmesunshine 17
The German language is boss. I've always wanted to learn it, but the only options my high school had were Spanish and ASL :/ One of these days, Alice, auf zum Mond.
tehrealone 6
Hate to burst your bubble but English and German are alike in sound.
samikitty961 8
das ist nicht nett! i think german is a beautiful language! my favorite in fact! es ist meine lieblings! i am learning it right now! yeah, its kind of hard to learn but its worth it! and is this what you do for fun? you try to discourage people from trying to learn by telling them that its too difficult and they should just give up? that is just not nice at all!
babygeek 4
Am I the only one who noticed that he spelled "irregular" wrong? Seriously, you should learn your own language before you go dissing other people about their second language. The other day in English class I responded to someone in German. Then in German class I said something in Spanish. Shit happens.(:
Marcowalker95 3
Spreche sie deutsch douche bag? Expand your horizons and get your head out of your self absorbed nationalistic ass. It's never a bad thing to appreciate another culture.
samikitty961 8
its sprechen Sie deutsch. ich spreche. Sie sprechen. js.
ConnyTheUnicorn 8
If you say, Germany is a horrible language, you just don't understand it. Maybe you are even German, like me, and just don't see the beauty of our language, maybe to you it sounds to 'common'. Speaking it correctly, and 'understanding' how the language works are two different things, even a lot of people here don't. Yes, learning it will be horrible, and one will never speak it without mistakes if not spoken for years, but that is not a reason to say it is 'horrible. The good thing in German is, that you can make almost EVERYTHING out of the words and also the grammar, if you are able to. That is why German poetry is so amazing.
cmyk 19
To be fair, I speak 3 languages and it is easy to sometimes start a sentence in one language, and end in another one. Especially if i talk to my parents then my bf which speak 2 different ones. But ydi the pat on the head. I would done same :)
Anubis_81 21
You're an idiot.
Okayitwasme 0
Don't post about yourself on here. Ha ha.
ddinspire6 10
You're an idiot.
Cupcakegirl15 0
im learning German in high school :)
iiDangerCloseBK 6
Me too
ryanTHEgerman 0
nice to see people taking the time to learn german deutschland ist toll!!
Okayitwasme 0
I'm surprised with the negative feed back on here. OP is educating herself! If you can't laugh at your own mistakes...? A pat on the head from your spouse? Okay that's weird.....:)
bobthemilkman 1
Am I the only person here who is completely fluent in a foreign language and speaks both languages roughly equally on a daily basis, speaking with native/fluent speakers of both languages, as well as bilingual speakers of both languages, and has not yet *once* ever confused the two languages? There have been times when I've forgotten words in either language, but I've never confused the two, ever. And I don't really see how anyone ever could. There was one time when I was learning a third language, and I had to go back to try to speak the second language after a long time of not speaking it (and having forgotten a large number of its words), and not yet being fluent in the third language, and several words from the third language accidentally came out, but that only happened once or twice and was only in the learning phase of trilingualism.
raphanne_fml 33
Nice high horse! Get off of it! If you took the time to read the comments before yours, you'd realize you're not the only one who can speak foreign languages... -_-"
drawmesunshine 17
You, sir, are an idiot. Your mistake was "only in the learming phase?" Well, what phase is OP in? Waning gibbous? Think before you type, and you might avoid making an ass of yourself.
iwadasn 33
You're the only one who seems to need three paragraphs to brag about it.
perdix 31
Dumkopf! At this point in time, it is just cute and quaint to learn any language that's not Chinese.
xNephilim 19
Ah, perdix. I hate to call you out on it... But it's Dummkopf. With a double m. :P