Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
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Top comments
kickazz16 15
What did you expect? A cookie?
Grimmerie 31
Did you recently suffer a sharp blow to the head?
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Comments (167)
iiDangerCloseBK 6
Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
perdix 31
Ja, but I'm not über gut at it.
drawmesunshine 17
Nein, pero yo se español. No necesito mi novio hablar para mi. ¿Donde esta el baño? El queso es viejo y mohoso. Tengo un gato en los pantalones.
asiasweety 0
Ja, ich bin in Deutsch Drei. Ich weiss alle ueber Verben mit Festern Praepositionen(: ich bin am besten in die erste Stunde, wenn ich lernen hat. Aber, Englisch gefaellt mir sehr besser. WHAT NOW?!
xNephilim 19
Asiasweetie, that was actually pretty good. Gotta make sure to get your sentence structure improved and learn your die, der, das, but those are easily mixed up for native speakers too. I believed butter was "der" for the longest time. Turns out it's actually "die".
hollyman 0
Are you blond....
MummaBear_x 0
Are you 'blond' ?
alpacamybooks 11
You both screwed up. "Are you blond?" is how you both should've written it.
drawmesunshine 17
86 was remarking on how 67 spelled 'blonde' wrong.
25shark 5
Sehr gut
xBunii18x 2
I think I understand. Like your trying to read something in a different language for a while and then you don't realize you see a language you do understand.. That didn't make sense but XD
irishman1989 0
Total blonde joke. Imma use this this morning
icic6772 0
Don't read books you can't handle.
Samuel55 7
That means that you were really engaged in your German. Mach dir keine Sorgen darüber
01fuckhead10 14
hahahahaha can people really be that stupid
thetoiletpaper 3
ear more bacon . IT HELPS
Agony_Blackheart 2
I'm perfectly bilingual in French and English, and sometimes I don't know when I pass from one language to the other. When I was learning English, I read a book that had some French words in it and I didn't realize they were French. Sometimes, I still do, it's called concentration people, so stop bashing her.
iwadasn 33
Yeah, but she's not perfectly bilingual; she says she doesn't know German very well. That's why most people think she deserves it.