Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
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Top comments
kickazz16 15
What did you expect? A cookie?
Grimmerie 31
Did you recently suffer a sharp blow to the head?
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Comments (167)
cookiedanielle 0
What a douche...
arysmomee 2
that's hilarious. you are kinda dumb tho.
Nitrogenica 6
It's funny because all the YDI votes on this post represent stupid people who don't understand how easily you can miss a language swapping over if you understand both of them... I've known people who speak many languages that, when they're really focused on telling a story or something, garble the languages together without realising. It all still makes sense to them because they understand it all, and that's the same kind of thing, it just happens.
iwadasn 33
But she said she doesn't know German very well. There's no excuse for mixing up your native language and a language you barely know.
Bonns_fml 2
I can see from the comments here that google translations suck :) german is a horrible language. The grammar sucks - nothing but irregularities. Stick with english books or learn a nice sounding language like spanish or japanese
Joey44 15
Seriously dude, the way you talk about the German language, you'd think it had murdered your father and ****** your mother. Why are you so bitter about it???
Swiko 11
It is not. German is one of the most well-engineered languages created, and much easier for a native English speaker to learn than Spanish or Japanese. If you think German's too hard, there's no way in hell you could learn a non-Germanic language, especially Japanese--while Japanese may sound prettier, just think of all the symbols and how long it would take to learn how to understand them, grammar or not.
DerpyHooves 0
Kanji is the only thing that takes a long time to learn. I learned both Hiragana and Katana in one school year.
mrwiggles5422 4
if you still haven't mastered English (I assume you haven't because you can't recognize it in written form), you shouldn't attempt to learn other languages, especially German. what are you, a Nazi wanna-be? lulz learn Spanish instead
Macsterh 5
When I watch a movie, a while after I can't remember anymore if it was in German or English
yumyumpoptart 16
are you by any chance blonde?!?
Rasetsu 10
Gib nicht auf!
icxiibunnie 14
it's sad how you can't even tell the difference between English and German.
athena3100 9
I'm in 8th grade, german class, and I can read books with no problem! An no, I've only taken German in 7 th and 8th gradr