Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML
Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
No cafe?! Next you're gonna say that polar bears don't actually hand out Cokes. LIES!
nela25 23
I guess he really wanted an iced coffee.
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Comments (93)
Mintaka_fml 11
Next time you are at the Alamo, make sure to ask how to get to the basement.
AddleBoy 4
Sounds like someone was going through a caffine withdrawl.
aubama_fml 15
i work as a guide too. Some people complained to me that there's "too much" sand on the beach.
LilFlutter 10
Wow. Did the ocean have too much water, too? What is wrong with people?! :-(
JM71195 9
WHITE PEOPLE!!
perdix 31
I'm not sure why you'd want a café up there. I bet the pace of the service would be ... glacial.
RadeonDerp 24
Not to mention the frosty attitude of the staff working there.
Zimmington 21
they always have a (ice) chip on their shoulder.
graceinsheepwear 34
Please reread. The tourist wasn't kicked off the tour, the guide--OP--was pushed off the glacier.
graceinsheepwear 34
I bet that wasn't covered in the "Safety For Glacier Guides" PowerPoint.
Shleebs 12
Now, I've never been around a glacier, so I can't be sure, but it sounds to me like that woman should be fined or something for pushing you. What if you couldn't swim or got hypothermia or something?
graceinsheepwear 34
Sorry. I misread your comment. Oh, painful irony.
TheAngryPrincess 3
Sue them.