Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML
Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
No cafe?! Next you're gonna say that polar bears don't actually hand out Cokes. LIES!
nela25 23
I guess he really wanted an iced coffee.
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Comments (93)
ben_e_boy28 4
I'm more fascinated that there's such thing as a glacier guide. How does that work? "if you look to your right, you'll see ice... and if you look to your left, you'll see more ice!" (but no cafe) ;)
buckdharma 38
Carry along some Maxwell House, or you'll be good til your ass drops.
JestrRulz 12
trying to make sense of how one gets pushed off a huge slab of ice that's normally anchored to land. if OP was pushed into a crevace, he'd be dead.
TaliaAmaraS 13
Now why wouldn't you have a cafe on a glacier! You need to get on that, and by that I mean you personally. :P
deepvira 16
Starbucks coming soon !
carmagnet 11
Well what's wrong with you... Why haven't you built it yet?! It's all your fault!
MiissAshleyy 19
that post made me crave a caramel frappe from mcdonalds, lol. is there a mcdonalds on the glacier..? jk.
envyelric 6
You could press charges.
JokersHQ 21
This is the correct time to take legal action for your injuries due to their stupidity.
LC3290 16
Probably some white girl wanting Starbucks