It was the painkillers, I swear

By laurenh211 - 17/11/2020 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 77

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By mrsfantastic - 12/09/2010 14:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 581

You deserved it 6 502

Honey…

By greenintheface - 30/04/2011 06:27 - United States

Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 721

You deserved it 4 099

By Frazzled - 10/04/2011 10:59 - United States

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 545

You deserved it 11 299

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 113

You deserved it 3 382

Out of place

By wowthanks - 11/01/2013 19:37 - United States - Baldwin Park

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 899

You deserved it 7 992

By Hello Nurse - 24/09/2012 04:32 - United States - El Macero

Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 378

You deserved it 1 770

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 23:29 - United States

Today, my fiancé — a top chef — called me at work to make sure I would be home on time for the extra special dinner he'd prepared for me. The occasion, as I later discovered, was the end of our engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 928

You deserved it 3 114

By Cereal_mistress - 07/10/2013 18:54 - United States - Sonoma

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 762

You deserved it 96 085

Such a Saint

By hungry/grumpy/disabled - 17/07/2022 12:00

Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 101

By seriously?! - 11/02/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 028

You deserved it 8 972

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 17 November 2020 17:47

Looks like he's gonna need more surgery after you shove that nice big breakfast up his ass.

kfchicken 31

Wednesday 18 November 2020 2:42

to be fair if it was a major surgery he might have been really high and not meant any of it. medical grade anesthesia is no joke. if he's never given you reason to worry before I don't see this warranting more than a serious talk.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 17 November 2020 17:47

Looks like he's gonna need more surgery after you shove that nice big breakfast up his ass.

John Nemeth 14

Wednesday 18 November 2020 0:03

Shove it up his ass. Send him to the nurse with a note that says “Here I made breakfast for the both of you. You’ll find it up my ex husbands ass”

kfchicken 31

Wednesday 18 November 2020 2:42

Sara Niemantsverdriet 12

Wednesday 18 November 2020 9:39

Could be anaesthetic recovery and painkillers though, so I wouldn't be going too crazy until you get more information. Last time I had a general anaesthetic I kept begging for someone to bring me a banana smoothie afterwards. Two problems with this: I'm lactose intolerant and I can't stand banana, to the point that even the smell makes me want to vomit. I have no memory of this happening and wouldn't believe it if my sister hadn't taken a voice recording of it.