Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 34
"I used to tell people took an arrow to the knee, but then I took a fist to the nose." - OP
friedchickenpie 14
I used to hate that quote, but I took a Skyrim to the addiction section of my brain.
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Comments (385)
newburton13 26
First of all, you told it wrong. Second, that joke was never funny in the first place.
SheStauffer 5
That's what you get.... Frickin yard... Bet you don't even play skyrim.
BVBARMY1238 9
its arrow to the knee!
SnowFangedBeauty 19
Don't make gaming refrences unless you're around gamers....
Gerenah 9
YDI for thinking that quote is EVER a good thing to say. EVER.
truecountrybitch 22
teehee Skyrim is a awesome game! sry it happened.
xAmethystx 12
FUS RO DAH!
Tyrax 16
Good try, OP. Maybe level up that Dodge skill forst, though.
Litterblood 7
That's what you get for using a Skyrim quote