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  mFUNdo21  |  17

plot twist: op called the wrong number

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  Epikouros  |  31

Plot twist: it was OP's wife's lover, fucking his other girlfriend in their bed.

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  slooby_fml  |  25

Hahaha I didn't even think about that! I was just trying to quote Taken. Besides, the person in OP's house will probably be long gone by the time OP gets home

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  Ambient25  |  24

"I dunno who you are. I dunno what you want. If it's sugar it's in the pantry. Just know that if you eat my ice cream, I will find you, I will cut you, I will kill you" *Guy with mouthful of ice cream* "Good luck"

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  Maverick52  |  13

I'm unsure as how The Police could do anything about the situation other than sing "Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you"

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  Axipiter  |  24

45, this would have been way funnier if a) the previous post had said "The Police", rather than "the police", and 2) you hadn't basically quoted the whole fucking song.

By  Kalipczo  |  21

Eh that's pretty not okay. I'd call the cops or a neighbor to check it out for you.

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