Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML
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By
ClaireWinchester
| 17
If it was a robber they clearly aren't very smart
By
slooby_fml
| 25
"I will find you. And I will kill you."
COMMENTS
By
deadchicken
| 3
Hey is your refrigerator running? Well you better go catch it ahahaha
Reply
TheCanucklehead
| 22
That's not funny. Never has been. Never will
Reply
slooby_fml
| 25
Well, humor is subjective. It's probably funny to a 9 year old who's hearing it for the first time
Reply
deadchicken
| 3
Temptation to get the first comment for the first time was so high my brain resorted to using a childish "joke". My bad xD
By
ClaireWinchester
| 17
If it was a robber they clearly aren't very smart
Reply
mFUNdo21
| 17
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
Nyx_fml
| 23
That sounds like a boring plot twist. I like the original story better.
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
Plot twist: OP called Dog. "Yes, this is dog"
Reply
Epikouros
| 31
Plot twist: it was OP's wife's lover, fucking his other girlfriend in their bed.
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
Plot Twist: ^ Refrain from further plot twists please.
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Nyx_fml
| 23
Op already left us a nice cliffhanger.
Reply
tjv3
| 10
Hopefully you hung up and called the police
Reply
Twonty2
| 6
The hell man?...
Reply
Twonty2
| 6
Respect
By
slooby_fml
| 25
"I will find you. And I will kill you."
Reply
AnOriginalName
| 19
"I don't know where you are...."
Reply
slooby_fml
| 25
Hahaha I didn't even think about that! I was just trying to quote Taken. Besides, the person in OP's house will probably be long gone by the time OP gets home
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
"I dunno who you are. I dunno what you want. If it's sugar it's in the pantry. Just know that if you eat my ice cream, I will find you, I will cut you, I will kill you" *Guy with mouthful of ice cream* "Good luck"
Reply
tracirs_
| 7
This made me laugh way more than it probably should have. Oh sleep deprivation haha
Reply
IloveToLaugh143
| 21
"Do not touch my oreos. If you were smart, you'd be scared."
Reply
ms_YoungMula
| 8
#23 Best Comment Ever
By
The_Big_Boss
| 20
Someone was nice enough to look after your house while you were gone is all
By
flashback.miss
| 28
get the police. better safe than sorry.
Reply
Maverick52
| 13
I'm unsure as how The Police could do anything about the situation other than sing "Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you"
Reply
Axipiter
| 24
45, this would have been way funnier if a) the previous post had said "The Police", rather than "the police", and 2) you hadn't basically quoted the whole fucking song.
By
NoFlippinWai
| 24
What did you say?
By
bradleysol
| 11
Sounds like someone's cleaning your house for you. By cleaning, I mean cleaning it out. Sorry OP
By
JoeGrant
| 12
If only OP could explain a bit more as to what happened. I'm sure something else transpired! OP, call the police!
By
Soninuva
| 41
Cue the Twilight Zone theme!
By
Kalipczo
| 21
Eh that's pretty not okay. I'd call the cops or a neighbor to check it out for you.