Hey is your refrigerator running? Well you better go catch it ahahaha

That's not funny. Never has been. Never will

Well, humor is subjective. It's probably funny to a 9 year old who's hearing it for the first time

Temptation to get the first comment for the first time was so high my brain resorted to using a childish "joke". My bad xD

If it was a robber they clearly aren't very smart

plot twist: op called the wrong number

That sounds like a boring plot twist. I like the original story better.

Plot twist: OP called Dog. "Yes, this is dog"

Plot twist: it was OP's wife's lover, fucking his other girlfriend in their bed.

Plot Twist: ^ Refrain from further plot twists please.

Op already left us a nice cliffhanger.

Hopefully you hung up and called the police

The hell man?...

Respect

"I will find you. And I will kill you."

"I don't know where you are...."

Hahaha I didn't even think about that! I was just trying to quote Taken. Besides, the person in OP's house will probably be long gone by the time OP gets home

"I dunno who you are. I dunno what you want. If it's sugar it's in the pantry. Just know that if you eat my ice cream, I will find you, I will cut you, I will kill you" *Guy with mouthful of ice cream* "Good luck"

This made me laugh way more than it probably should have. Oh sleep deprivation haha

"Do not touch my oreos. If you were smart, you'd be scared."

#23 Best Comment Ever

Someone was nice enough to look after your house while you were gone is all

get the police. better safe than sorry.

I'm unsure as how The Police could do anything about the situation other than sing "Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you"

45, this would have been way funnier if a) the previous post had said "The Police", rather than "the police", and 2) you hadn't basically quoted the whole fucking song.

What did you say?

Sounds like someone's cleaning your house for you. By cleaning, I mean cleaning it out. Sorry OP

If only OP could explain a bit more as to what happened. I'm sure something else transpired! OP, call the police!

Cue the Twilight Zone theme!

Eh that's pretty not okay. I'd call the cops or a neighbor to check it out for you.