Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
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Top comments
JoshTheMaggot 8
Don't you like onions?
SandraGee 7
I guess she made a "pass" at you.
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Comments (121)
mintcar 10
Well...look on the bright side, she's still hot.
Xxak907xX 0
that would turn me off a bit
docscientist 10
Sounds like she's onion of a kind.
randomaccess745 0
worst pun ever.
docscientist 10
Thank you. I pride myself on terrible puns.
blaine72 0
....... good onion?
ilux3 0
lmao
dayday14_fml 4
ewe -_-
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
That's disgusting.
qcumberlovar 2
haha you win some you lose some. nobody's perfect. :)
LemonStarship 5
Sick.
Kthxbaibbq 0
Trollolololololololol. Get over yourself, Breh, everybody does it. Sounds like you need a woman, anyway, if you're complaining about this.
Snickahs 0
She thinks it was you. You think it was her. But it was really just an onion.
bigantennaemay 3
ah, that explains everything. thank you!