Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at... - FML

By you fuckhobbit - United Kingdom

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

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The opposite of a good idea

Freak out

Keep your distance

By Anonymous - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

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By last night king

Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML

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By MaySheRestinPeace - 6/3/2020 15:00

With friends like these…

Today, a friend asked me to cover his shift at work because his grandmother died. Like any decent friend, I obliged. Later, after leaving, I walked by a bar and saw him inside, laughing and doing shots with all of our friends. FML

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By Sucker - Canada

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

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By Funnymann - United States

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone to a guy I really like from work. We'd been talking for about 2 minutes, when he said he was getting another call, and put me on hold. I was so excited to be on the phone with him, it took me a whole 15 minutes to realise he had actually just hung up on me. FML

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By delicious - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I poured boiling water over my instant noodles. A freshly boiled cockroach also rolled out onto my noodles. FML

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By thismustbewhyivestrivedtobesmart - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML

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By Deedee

Today, 15 minutes before the end of the day, my boss asked me who I was training to replace me. He then said never mind, that it was his job to choose someone. I hadn't indicated that I was planning on leaving the company. FML

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By Eheath12Jheath14

Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I’m almost six weeks pregnant. From exactly ten seconds of penetration. FML

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By bonnmo - United States

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

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By Amberizzle - United States

Today, it is my three-year-anniversary with my boyfriend. I asked if he had planned anything for us, and he said yes. My parents volunteered to watch our daughter, I got all excited, and apparently our "plans" are to watch a football game. What do I get to do? Make sandwiches. For him. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Wetheringsett

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 23:01

Feeders

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML

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By drugdealersgf

Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML

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By Rick - United States - Spartanburg

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

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By What’sGoingOn

Awkward...

Today, I accidentally sent a dick pic to my coach instead of my girlfriend. He sent one back. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

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By Creepster - United States

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

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By rapturezz - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

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By Samantha - United States

Today, I'm three months pregnant. Hours after the father of my baby bought me a wedding ring, he decided to get drunk and tell me that he doesn't see himself with me for the rest of his life, and doesn't really want to get married. Oh and he hates my dog. FML

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By radiantum13

Today, I got yelled at by my supervisor for getting an hour of overtime yesterday. The reason I had an hour of overtime was because that same supervisor made me stay late. FML

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By swedishguy - Sweden

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

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By great 1st impression - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

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By TextLoser - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

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By lynnie - United States

Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML

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By JimmyJazzNJ - United States

Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead says "Just kidding, its really cheap." and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML

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By arh - Australia - Newport

Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

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By PicklesMcRaptor - United States - Miami

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

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By flopsy - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

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By Nutty

Today, my girlfriend refused to have sex with me, because my underwear are Fruit of the Loom instead of Hanes. According to her, since all real men wear Hanes, I'm unfit to have sex with her because I wear Fruit of the Loom and am therefore not a man. FML

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By ldrik1 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

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By wtf mom?!

Today, I completely lost it when I found out my mom was driving around with my 20-month-old daughter not sat in a car seat. She told me I was overreacting, and that everything was fine since she “prayed for a safe journey.” FML

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By Flarewolf - United Kingdom

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

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Top comments

By SHAMUS_the_WITTY | 18

#5274663 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

YDI for being "that poster."

Cue the "umadbro?" comments.

By KingCeltic77 | 18

#5274670 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:45

This is why trolling is dumb. YDI.

COMMENTS

By SHAMUS_the_WITTY | 18

#5274663 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

YDI for being "that poster."

Cue the "umadbro?" comments.

Reply

andyyroxx | 20

#5274719 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:00

I think he's mad now.

Reply

annihil8or | 15

#5274861 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:49

What gave it away? The "angry reply"?

Reply

Kamon97 | 23

#5786482 - Tuesday 10 December 2013 5:38

Hey not his fault the forum founder is some butthurt kid FYL bro.

By LO388 | 7

#5274664 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Well, umad about it?

Reply

howdeedoo | 22

#5274701 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

I don't think so. I mean, if OP was mad about it, he would post it to FML or something, right?

Reply

LuckBeNimble | 19

#5274892 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:00

15- exactly! oh wait...

By 808Boyo | 4

#5274665 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Good going cheech!

By derpies | 12

#5274667 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

1215116a | 14

#5275091 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:54

I suppose pissing people off you know in real life is better, huh?

By KingCeltic77 | 18

#5274670 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:45

This is why trolling is dumb. YDI.

Reply

TML329 | 14

#5274739 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:09

The troll was vanquished.three cheers

Reply

AwkwardPartyBear | 24

#5274850 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:46

I agree. Trolling is for fuckhobbits.

Reply

bitch_pleez | 10

#5274928 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:09

Never heard the term fuckhobbits before, but I like it.... Totally stealing it :p

Reply

Callyn | 47

#5275018 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:27

Trolling is an art. Unfortunately the OP is a terrible artist.

Reply

happle | 21

#5275128 - Monday 24 December 2012 5:13

OP wasn't even really trolling.

Reply

choco3782 | 12

#6082517 - Monday 6 October 2014 8:55

Umadbro?

Reply

THE_GLOW_CLOUD | 9

#6664711 - Thursday 4 August 2016 3:57

The ranter would be me in this case, so yeah. YDI.

By Kn0wledge123 | 21

#5274675 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:46

What forum was it?

Reply

Chris455 | 8

#5274952 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:12

Skylanders.

By insertnameherr | 11

#5274679 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:47

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

nick347b | 6

#5274692 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:51

I'm not going to 'stfu' when I could be potentially saving the life of an innocent child.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5274698 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

I agree he deserves it for being a troll, but everyone's got the right to their opinion, especially on the Internet.

Reply

insertnameherr | 11

#5274703 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

well then I stand corrected

Reply

HowieDoIt | 21

#5274782 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:26

Are you, perchance, perturbed, my blood relative of the male persuasion?

Reply

trivel64 | 16

#5274844 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:44

Perturbed was one of my vocab words in eighth grade.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5275030 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:30

37 - I humbly accept rule from the llama queen... I want to see what happens.

By bwzwally8 | 15

#5274684 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:48

Way to go smartass.

By nick347b | 6

#5274685 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:48

God bless the pro-lifer.

By Dory123 | 9

#5274696 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:52

That's a bit of an over reaction. Sorry OP I hope the forum lets you back on soon. :D