Miscellaneous: Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at... - FML

By you fuckhobbit - United Kingdom

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

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Mother of the year

Taking stock

Tinder surprise

By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

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By grrrr - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

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By bitchsawmebuyit - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

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By caught out - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

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By vikingunicorn - Canada

Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML

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By

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

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By jill - 10/3/2021 05:01

Eww, roommate from hell

Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, my mom got drunk and told me that the man I have called dad for the past 27 years isn't my real father. Oh and don't say anything to him about it. FML

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By poisonivyretard - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

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By

Today, someone sent a dick pic to my 16-year-old, lesbian daughter. She handed me her phone and asked, "What is that, a naked mole rat?" FML

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By Dude wtf - 19/4/2021 02:02

Indecent proposal

Today, a guy propositioned me for a threesome with his girlfriend. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he's knows I'm gay and have a boyfriend, or the fact that his girlfriend is my sister. He seemed confused as to why I turned him down. FML

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By bun593 - United States

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

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By forever young - United States

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

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By barman - Australia

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

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By O__o - United States

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

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By notmyday - United States

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I have to go LOST is on in 20 minutes." FML

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By Anonymous

Class act

Today, after 5 years, an engagement, and me being 5 months pregnant, my boyfriend downloaded Tinder again. 2020 is really great. FML

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By curseyousuperman - United States - Conway

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

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By oof - 9/7/2020 23:01

Boom, headshot

Today, my fiancé and I were discussing whether we should have a gun in the house or not. He argued that I’m too clumsy to have one. Offended, I turned around to storm off. I hit my forehead on the cabinet I'd left open and immediately started gushing blood. Point proved. FML

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By Notorch - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

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By aru9 - United States

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

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By Embarassed - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

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By wray16 - 26/2/2021 21:30 - United States

Love hurts

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

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By thatonekid - United States

Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML

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By Faaccckkk - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

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By 635CSi - United States - San Diego

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

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By AlonsoKold - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a 24-hour taco shop, while he was wearing a tee-shirt that says "F*** Me I'm Famous." FML

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By Nasty - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

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By DarrenP - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML

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By munckncruncj15 - United States

Yummy

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

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By Anonymous

Where is everyone?

Today, I tried to have a game night at my house. Suggesting a popular card game that everyone plays, snacks, and BYOB. No one showed or even said they weren't coming. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I canceled my Gamefly account. Seems that was the only thing keeping us together. FML

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By Debra2005 - United States

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML

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By holycow - United States

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

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By Iamlonesometonight

Today, my now-ex dumped me at a house party, which I then couldn't leave, as all my things were at his house, where I was meant to be staying. FML

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Top comments

By SHAMUS_the_WITTY | 18

#5274663 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

YDI for being "that poster."

Cue the "umadbro?" comments.

By KingCeltic77 | 18

#5274670 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:45

This is why trolling is dumb. YDI.

COMMENTS

By SHAMUS_the_WITTY | 18

#5274663 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

YDI for being "that poster."

Cue the "umadbro?" comments.

Reply

andyyroxx | 20

#5274719 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:00

I think he's mad now.

Reply

annihil8or | 15

#5274861 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:49

What gave it away? The "angry reply"?

Reply

Kamon97 | 23

#5786482 - Tuesday 10 December 2013 5:38

Hey not his fault the forum founder is some butthurt kid FYL bro.

By LO388 | 7

#5274664 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Well, umad about it?

Reply

howdeedoo | 22

#5274701 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

I don't think so. I mean, if OP was mad about it, he would post it to FML or something, right?

Reply

LuckBeNimble | 19

#5274892 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:00

15- exactly! oh wait...

By 808Boyo | 4

#5274665 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Good going cheech!

By derpies | 12

#5274667 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

1215116a | 14

#5275091 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:54

I suppose pissing people off you know in real life is better, huh?

By KingCeltic77 | 18

#5274670 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:45

This is why trolling is dumb. YDI.

Reply

TML329 | 14

#5274739 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:09

The troll was vanquished.three cheers

Reply

AwkwardPartyBear | 24

#5274850 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:46

I agree. Trolling is for fuckhobbits.

Reply

bitch_pleez | 10

#5274928 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:09

Never heard the term fuckhobbits before, but I like it.... Totally stealing it :p

Reply

Callyn | 47

#5275018 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:27

Trolling is an art. Unfortunately the OP is a terrible artist.

Reply

happle | 21

#5275128 - Monday 24 December 2012 5:13

OP wasn't even really trolling.

Reply

choco3782 | 12

#6082517 - Monday 6 October 2014 8:55

Umadbro?

Reply

THE_GLOW_CLOUD | 9

#6664711 - Thursday 4 August 2016 3:57

The ranter would be me in this case, so yeah. YDI.

By Kn0wledge123 | 21

#5274675 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:46

What forum was it?

Reply

Chris455 | 8

#5274952 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:12

Skylanders.

By insertnameherr | 11

#5274679 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:47

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

nick347b | 6

#5274692 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:51

I'm not going to 'stfu' when I could be potentially saving the life of an innocent child.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5274698 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

I agree he deserves it for being a troll, but everyone's got the right to their opinion, especially on the Internet.

Reply

insertnameherr | 11

#5274703 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

well then I stand corrected

Reply

HowieDoIt | 21

#5274782 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:26

Are you, perchance, perturbed, my blood relative of the male persuasion?

Reply

trivel64 | 16

#5274844 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:44

Perturbed was one of my vocab words in eighth grade.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5275030 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:30

37 - I humbly accept rule from the llama queen... I want to see what happens.

By bwzwally8 | 15

#5274684 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:48

Way to go smartass.

By nick347b | 6

#5274685 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:48

God bless the pro-lifer.

By Dory123 | 9

#5274696 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:52

That's a bit of an over reaction. Sorry OP I hope the forum lets you back on soon. :D