Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at... - FML

By you fuckhobbit - 23/12/2012 22:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

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The best cat

Relationships sink

Great boyfriend

By hoops - 14/1/2011 20:34 - United States

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

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By greeter - 18/10/2016 06:49 - Canada - Willow Grove

Today, my class had a very important meeting about workplace safety. I thought I led some of my classmates to the meeting very well, until they informed me that I accidentally ran a red light on the way there. They brought this infraction up during the class every chance they got. FML

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By anonymous - 17/4/2012 01:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

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By unbelievable - 2/2/2009 11:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

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By mikesok988 - 7/5/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

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By biomajor99 - 22/4/2015 21:46 - United States - Middletown

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

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By oofouchmyvagooter - 6/10/2019 16:00

The Rupture

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in over a week, because I had been having weird cramps. Afterwards, I was experiencing the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life, so we went to the ER. Turns out my cramping was from an ovarian cyst, and having sex made it rupture. FML

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By Kait - 5/4/2012 04:13 - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

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By cmd102 - 20/10/2011 21:18 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

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By mumfordandsonimdisappointed - 29/8/2015 05:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

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By debodave - 22/7/2009 20:06 - Germany

Today, I phoned one of the IT guys upstairs for help with my PC. He said it would only take a few minutes; and would just fix it through a direct connection from his computer to mine. Hours later; I was feeling devilish, and quickly checked out an adult website. Mr IT Guy was still connected. FML

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By thefuckedupbunny - 18/8/2019 20:00

Today, while on the train with my dad, my boyfriend sent me a message. It was a nude, and when I looked, my dad saw. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/1/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

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By smallfrie32 - 23/11/2010 05:22

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/2/2014 17:26 - United States - Louisville

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

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By SingleWorker - 9/1/2010 03:45 - United States

Today, I come home for lunch. I see a sandwich on the table with a note saying "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I see another note from my girlfriend next to it saying "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step mother. FML

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By Crud - 6/2/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of six months dumped me over the phone. I'm in the military and recently had to move away to another fort. We'd agreed that we would try to make long distance work. I'd even offered to buy a plane ticket to come see her each weekend. I've been gone less than two weeks. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

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By Username - 1/5/2014 10:33 - United States

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/5/2015 05:24 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

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By fuckyouverymuch - 13/6/2013 10:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

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By Lily - 9/10/2018 17:30

Today, I did a sprint in gym class. Despite being the skinniest in the class, I ran slower than everyone else, including two morbidly obese people. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/8/2011 03:27 - United Kingdom

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

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By dead - 9/3/2010 00:49 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me because apparently I'm "too beautiful and he can no longer handle other guys always trying to flirt with me." FML

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By metalflower01 - 11/1/2012 16:31 - United States

Today, I had to cancel my wedding. On top of being upset about the break up, I was informed I owed a $900 cancellation fee for not using the venue. Single and broke. FML

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By Moron - 23/8/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

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By x - 12/11/2012 02:16 - United States - Lake Placid

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

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By CH - 7/12/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

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By independant - 8/11/2018 08:30 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/5/2012 05:25 - United States - Astoria

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

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By michellemoyah - 25/2/2012 05:04 - United States

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

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By malicemassacre - 21/3/2020 15:00

Capitalism kills

Today, the county I live in is quarantined. My boss announced that, "We keep working until the government says they will shoot us if we leave the house.” We work in a call center. Not essential at all. FML

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By blink_kid - 10/8/2012 12:57 - United Kingdom - Bathgate

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

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By jsw029 - 26/2/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

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By trollbot13 - 24/10/2016 09:39 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an extent that customers were starting to hate me." FML

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By uhoh.. - 22/3/2015 19:51 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

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By Trouble - 11/4/2017 18:00

Today, at work, I was informed that my manager told the owner, "Everything wrong with my department" is me. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

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By justdancebbyx3 - 6/6/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 20:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

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Top comments

By SHAMUS_the_WITTY | 18

#5274663 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

YDI for being "that poster."

Cue the "umadbro?" comments.

By KingCeltic77 | 18

#5274670 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:45

This is why trolling is dumb. YDI.

Comments

By SHAMUS_the_WITTY | 18

#5274663 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

YDI for being "that poster."

Cue the "umadbro?" comments.

Reply

andyyroxx | 20

#5274719 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:00

I think he's mad now.

Reply

annihil8or | 15

#5274861 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:49

What gave it away? The "angry reply"?

Reply

Kamon97 | 23

#5786482 - Tuesday 10 December 2013 5:38

Hey not his fault the forum founder is some butthurt kid FYL bro.

By LO388 | 7

#5274664 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Well, umad about it?

Reply

howdeedoo | 22

#5274701 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

I don't think so. I mean, if OP was mad about it, he would post it to FML or something, right?

Reply

LuckBeNimble | 19

#5274892 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:00

15- exactly! oh wait...

By 808Boyo | 4

#5274665 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Good going cheech!

By derpies | 12

#5274667 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:44

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

1215116a | 14

#5275091 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:54

I suppose pissing people off you know in real life is better, huh?

By KingCeltic77 | 18

#5274670 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:45

This is why trolling is dumb. YDI.

Reply

TML329 | 14

#5274739 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:09

The troll was vanquished.three cheers

Reply

AwkwardPartyBear | 24

#5274850 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:46

I agree. Trolling is for fuckhobbits.

Reply

bitch_pleez | 10

#5274928 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:09

Never heard the term fuckhobbits before, but I like it.... Totally stealing it :p

Reply

Callyn | 47

#5275018 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:27

Trolling is an art. Unfortunately the OP is a terrible artist.

Reply

happle | 21

#5275128 - Monday 24 December 2012 5:13

OP wasn't even really trolling.

Reply

choco3782 | 12

#6082517 - Monday 6 October 2014 8:55

Umadbro?

Reply

THE_GLOW_CLOUD | 9

#6664711 - Thursday 4 August 2016 3:57

The ranter would be me in this case, so yeah. YDI.

By Kn0wledge123 | 21

#5274675 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:46

What forum was it?

Reply

Chris455 | 8

#5274952 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:12

Skylanders.

By insertnameherr | 11

#5274679 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:47

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

nick347b | 6

#5274692 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:51

I'm not going to 'stfu' when I could be potentially saving the life of an innocent child.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5274698 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

I agree he deserves it for being a troll, but everyone's got the right to their opinion, especially on the Internet.

Reply

insertnameherr | 11

#5274703 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:53

well then I stand corrected

Reply

HowieDoIt | 21

#5274782 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:26

Are you, perchance, perturbed, my blood relative of the male persuasion?

Reply

trivel64 | 16

#5274844 - Monday 24 December 2012 3:44

Perturbed was one of my vocab words in eighth grade.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5275030 - Monday 24 December 2012 4:30

37 - I humbly accept rule from the llama queen... I want to see what happens.

By bwzwally8 | 15

#5274684 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:48

Way to go smartass.

By nick347b | 6

#5274685 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:48

God bless the pro-lifer.

By Dory123 | 9

#5274696 - Monday 24 December 2012 2:52

That's a bit of an over reaction. Sorry OP I hope the forum lets you back on soon. :D