Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
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Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I booked the cheapest seat on a six-hour flight to save money. The person next to me spent the entire trip asleep on my shoulder, and I felt too awkward to wake them up. By the time we landed, my neck hurt so much that I had to explain to guards and baggage claim staff why I couldn't turn my head. FML
Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an "inconsiderate, selfish bitch." FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
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Top comments
KingDingALing 9
Start farting as loud as you can. Then go blow up the toilet, but don't close the door. Let everyone smell the aroma of that burrito you had earlier. Or you can just make your seat pull back so that the little asshole has no room to open the tray or move his legs.
antolenice_fml 1
Yeah, like in every movie where the protagonist is in a plane.
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Comments (101)
meg353 0
#36 your bi-winning!!!!
Sha41491 0
shoulda beat his ass
movie141 0
you should tell the people u work for to fly you 1st class
Mylife_is_so_fd 0
When will people learn, all you gotta do when the kid is being a douche is figure out which douche is the kids parent and then tell the flight attendant that you heard that person saying something about a bomb also they said jihad, and then sit and laugh as a air marshal kicks the crap out of them
Mylife_is_so_fd 0
just tell the flight attendant that you heard the kids parent muttering something about jihad, then sit back and enjoy your flight while they are escorted off the plane by the police
mpclaw 3
ydi for flying economy.
night_saint 5
where in Connecticut are you from, OP?
SmelloJello 9
shoulda ate jello. that woulda cheered you up.
Mozava93 0
Kill him
manhands21 6
somebody pays to much attention to what they can do with the alt key, and still fails to make it lowercase.