Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I booked the cheapest seat on a six-hour flight to save money. The person next to me spent the entire trip asleep on my shoulder, and I felt too awkward to wake them up. By the time we landed, my neck hurt so much that I had to explain to guards and baggage claim staff why I couldn't turn my head. FML
Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an "inconsiderate, selfish bitch." FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
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Top comments
KingDingALing 9
Start farting as loud as you can. Then go blow up the toilet, but don't close the door. Let everyone smell the aroma of that burrito you had earlier. Or you can just make your seat pull back so that the little asshole has no room to open the tray or move his legs.
antolenice_fml 1
Yeah, like in every movie where the protagonist is in a plane.
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Comments (101)
MiiraYy11 5
your plane flight sure seemed like the bomb!
mamaxony 0
I say that's a pass to beat the shit out of the twurp
jarrettd 27
dont u love kids these days
MGMavicster83 1
Is He Still Living?!
rubyliu8420 7
You should've punched that little bastard!
Honda288 2
I would have gotten up and beat that little buck-eyed bastards ass. And all the commotion from that would have woken up the snoring woman. Both problems solved.
talloctopus 7
You should have turned around and kicked his parent. Then if he didn't stop kick him. And as for the freight train of a lady stick stuff up her nose..
quinn1184 25
I would talk some sense into him, only because beating some sense into him would get me arrested :(
Lunasis 14
should have whooped his little ass -.-
Kurliez408 32
at least it was only 3 hours. i had a similar 8.5 hour flight.