Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a fancy dinner. Halfway through, he said he wanted to break up. I started crying, but the whole restaurant thought he'd proposed, and started clapping. FML
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Top comments
FalconCrunch 4
Did you tell him to suck on your udders?
hopelessteej 8
aw! and who said romance was dead?!
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Comments (112)
TogeBara 12
Wow people in the comments can be such douches. Honestly how is it her fault that he said something impolite. There are better ways to say that, and he should feel bad for his bad phrasing. How do you know he wasn't just talking about the side to side motion a cow makes? Maybe she doesn't chew her food with her mouth open and btw he should have the common courtesy to just live with it through the meal and move on afterwards. A man with no charm will not get the girl.
Ameel_fml 19
I feel bad for the OP too. Maybe she didn't realize she chews weirdly, or maybe the guy was just a douche who gets annoyed over insignificant things. My sister always tells me off for "gulping too loudly" when I drink, even though I don't gulp any louder than anybody else. Some people just have weird pet-peeves.
alycion 38
Or over sensitivities. When I have flare ups from my autoimmune illness, I become over sensitive to everything. Clothes feels like its ripping my skin off, scents gag me and little noises make me want to kill everyone. It's not their fault and I know it do I just suck it up. But I know someone else who has the same issue and they go into super bitch mode.
EUPHORlA 12
I agree with you. I hate people who comment on the most littlest things and make it seem big. Even if she were chewing with her mouth open, it would've been more mature to ignore it.
perdix 29
#31, et al., the guy actually did the OP a favor. He had the balls to tell her why she grossed him out and why there won't be a second date. At least she knows what she's doing wrong, so she can work on that in the future. I wish all those girls who didn't give me second dates let me know what I did wrong. I could have worked on those issues and become awesomer than I already am ;)
crammer1 6
Oh the tragedy! The humanity! Someone told her she eats disgustingly! How could they!? Oh wait, most likely it's because the way she eats is gross to him.
iAmPaul 49
I'm guessing you didn't go on a second date.
xALEXx_fml 15
But were you eating like a cow?
ozpunker 20
Chew your cud at home next time.
purebliss_fml 19
He's a dick for humiliating you. On the plus side, at least you're now aware that you chew with your mouth open and can work on that!
buddy51 23
Well, OP, at least he's not a cow-word when it comes to bleating out what he's mooved to think. I'd suggest grazing in other pastures where the grass is greener and the studs are less bull-headed!
illegalbeagle69 23
2 ways to avoid that: 1. Don't chew like a cow 2. Don't chew like a cow
prljm10 10
YDI. Close your mouth when you chew! Have some manners!!
lb0812 18
Well unless you have some sort of disability that prohibits you from chewing with your mouth closed, I think this is more of a YDI. There is a basic element of table etiquette that is expected out of civilized adults, especially at a fancy restaurant. And the lack of table etiquette may have provoked the awkward silence in the first place. Idk. Sorry kiddo. Just something you may need to work on. :)
tenfiftynine 12
If OP was chewing like a cow. Then her mouth would be closed. Cows chew with a side to side motion.
buckdharma 37
Why buy the cow when you can get milk for free. Well, did he milk you op?