Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a fancy dinner. Halfway through, he said he wanted to break up. I started crying, but the whole restaurant thought he'd proposed, and started clapping. FML
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Top comments
FalconCrunch 4
Did you tell him to suck on your udders?
hopelessteej 8
aw! and who said romance was dead?!
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Comments (112)
UnicornsForKurt 7
Should have said at least its better than having the manners of an ass.
PiNkMoOn 9
Did that kill the awkward silence or did kill whole upcoming thing between you both?
perdix 29
Cows chew with their mouths closed. The OP most likely chewed with a rhythmic, exaggerated jaw motion with a side-to-side grinding action. Lips closed, but unattractive nonetheless.
Caitlon 6
Well don't eat like a cow then.
Shorty777 4
Wow, what a jerk.
Shorty777 4
Maybe OP does have bad table manners, but the guy was rude.
Kyle_Kawi27 7
My ex chewed with her mouth open and it was a habit so I quit taking her out :)
Spark_Slicker 19
That's a bit harsh. Some people don't realize when they chew with their mouth open. Doesn't mean they have horrible table manners, their minds sometimes wander and they just forget. And I for one don't find it utterly intolerable. Also, we don't even know for certain if OP was open mouth chewing. He could have been saying just the WAY they chew it, closed mouth, is like a cow.
mzdaisylynn 12
Maybe learn to eat with your mouth closed?
pawspaws 4
Thats what people tell me too