Intimacy: Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are...

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 314

You deserved it 38 068

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 040

You deserved it 59 278

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 371

You deserved it 6 336

Noob

By lameows - 04/04/2015 01:57 - United States

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 485

You deserved it 4 391

Bad sex ed

By Sex ed instructor, fuck me - 18/04/2022 06:00

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 080

You deserved it 787

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 251

You deserved it 6 961

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 489

You deserved it 11 355

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 332

You deserved it 14 484

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 269

You deserved it 38 171

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 978

You deserved it 5 502

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 406

jimmyrules 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:06

Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.

immja 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:08

@2 that may have been the problem.. hah

Comments

redraiderkid54 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:25

actealy i'm with #1 it's a sin to have sex not married so for all u not nown that then read the bivle

sallen0046 4

Friday 13 August 2010 9:30

If you're going to bible thump, you could at least try not to look like a complete moron. Learn to spell before you preach.

SquaresviL7e 0

Friday 13 August 2010 17:06

The Bivle? Isn't that the book about that guy Jeebus?

Puckeroo 0

Friday 13 August 2010 18:22

I honestly don't care if it's a sin or not, I'm not religious in that way. IMO, the message is self respect. And FYI, not many people are gonna respond warmly to your (failed) attempt to make them feel guilty.

SquaresviL7e 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 6:04

229: Nah, I'm pretty sure it's Jeebus.

xNephilim 18

Tuesday 11 October 2011 7:39

228- Consider my day made.

rlconn 8

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:43

Just a helpful tip.. Before you preach to people about their sins you may need to check your spelling... (actually not actealy, you not u, known not nown, and Bible not bivle.) It's more effective in getting the message out there if people know what words you are trying to use...

sorrowevicteon 9

Monday 26 December 2011 10:22

It is a sin to misspell words. What religion? Irrelevant. You can whip your bible out and judge, I should be able to as well. Go curl up in a ball and weep, sinner...

hellokittywhore 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:26

haha wow that was pretty whorey of me!! lol hence the name I guess :DD

H0TinNYC 1

Friday 13 August 2010 11:49

don't be so hard on yourself, as for the OP, FYL.

bjbthe1 1

Friday 13 August 2010 17:31

hello kitty, lose the lip piercings and you would be pretty hot!

rosemary1990 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:26

aww but at least u r both virgins. lol BUT no one has experience to teach the other some good stuff

susieKiute 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:26

lol! if my boyfriend were a virgin like I was when we first did it then I think this would have happened to me too haha! it is harder than it appears to newbies

hellokittywhore 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:27

OH SHIT!!!! OWNED!!!!!

jessdemi 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:28

easy OP !!! 8===D goes into O/ not rocket science :) easy anatomy :)

jadeling 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:28

LOL. well, maybe it wasn't meant to be. :]

J_Car_1992 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:28

ok op, ydi for not being able to figure it out. the question i have is... How old are you? if this is complicated to you guys,well u prob. arent mature enough to have sex in the first place....