Today, I’ve been bricking it about telling my mom I’m pregnant but aren’t getting married to my boyfriend. My mom has a big thing about marriage. Then grandma told me mom’s just a hypocrite, because she got pregnant not only wasn’t she married, they had to do a DNA test to see who was my dad. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend’s family. His mother gave me expensive diamond earrings and treated us to brunch. I don’t know how I’m gonna have the heart to tell him that I’ve accidentally gotten pregnant from someone else I’ve been seeing. I can’t tell him it’s his because we haven’t slept together yet. FML
Today, my mom asked me out of the blue if I was ever going to consider getting married. It wasn't until after the conversation ended that I remembered my siblings are all either single like I am, or incapable of having children. I am my mother's last hope of becoming a grandma, and she reminds me all the time. FML
Today, my mom had to go off on my grandmother because I don’t have kids yet and she, "wants great grand babies before she dies." My grandmother was going to gift me a baby outfit for me to get another hint. I’m 25 and can’t conceive because of health issues. I may never have my own kids. She knows. FML
Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
Today, I was doing a family genealogy project. I accidentally discovered that my grandfather couldn't possibly be my mom’s biological father. When I started asking questions, my mom flipped shit, confronted her mom, and the whole mess came out. Now everyone is pissed at me. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
Your mum's attitude could come from her own experience and desperately wanting you to avoid her eff up? But go Grandma for giving you the BIG stick of: "at least I don't need a DNA test" if she does get in too much of a tizz about it.
D J's MOM 17
Hahahaha that's freaking hilarious! You totally have your mom by the balls nows. Thank awesome grandma for me. Congrats and best wishes on the little one. 🥰
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Comments (8)
D J's MOM 17
Hahahaha that's freaking hilarious! You totally have your mom by the balls nows. Thank awesome grandma for me. Congrats and best wishes on the little one. 🥰
TwoBytesCarley 27
This seems more like a congrats than an FML?
JackWood 20
Like mother, like daughter! Two peas in a pod
Anderling 32
Grandma is amazing. Too old to give a crap any longer and knows everything about everyone. Your mom can go suck a lemon. As for you, congrats on the little one, and I’m wishing you the best!
FluffythePink 23
Your mum's attitude could come from her own experience and desperately wanting you to avoid her eff up? But go Grandma for giving you the BIG stick of: "at least I don't need a DNA test" if she does get in too much of a tizz about it.
RichardPencil 30
So, your grandma is basically Santa Claus, "Ho, ho, ho!"
lalalaila777 24
hypocrisy, or wanting you to not make the same mistakes she did?
tiptoppc 19
Yeah. Somewhat same thing happened (minus pregnancy). Lost my virginity to my (now wife) 10 years ago. My mom found out (even though I was an adult) and harshly chastised her. I guess she didn’t know I was listening when she told my brother my dad and mom had sex before marriage. When I brought out that fact in a retort, my mom looked like a deer in the headlights. Shut her up REAL quick. Unfortunately, some of the ones who act piously are usually guilty of the transgressions they accuse others of. Religion is usually the very cause of hypocrisy, and strangely enough, the largest members of it.