Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML
Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Cum in 30 minutes or less or it's free!
Snowble11 13
Just imagine the food network
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Comments (62)
TheChelseaSays 34
I can totally relate! If I was listening to food **** while I was eating, I would probably get turned on by my pizza too!
Denny1 15
Damn Americans
RZB 11
Bow chicka wow
BlondeBubbles 6
You're into some kinky stuff.
redbluegreen 41
When you first take a bite, it's too hot for you. The slice singes your mouth, but you can't resist waiting much longer. You eye its delightful figure and sniff its garlic crust. "It's all for you," the slice seems to whisper. You can't stop yourself from picking off some cheese and putting it in your mouth. It's gooey and warm on your tongue. A perfect blend of cheeses beacon you to take another bite, and the pepperonis slide forward ever so slightly into your mouth. It's hot, and it's good. Too good. You taste its melted cheeses, spicy pepperonis, the crispy crust, and tomato sauce. A warm feeling starts to pool in your abdomen. The combination of flavors is overwhelming. Your greasy hands find another slice, and another, and another, until all that is left is an empty box.
buckdharma 38
Then you get on the scale and break it.
sens3sfailing 25
WHY THE **** DID YOU STOP?!
hannaaaahr 33
50 shades of pizza.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I dunno about you OP, but eggnog gets me all hot and bothered.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Does this remind anyone else of Dodgeball :P?
perdix 31
How do you get an FML published for being normal?
rockman555555 3
If it actually turned you on, I guess they weren't using cheesy lines eh? ;P
krazy_kat09 8
Give you milk products for any length of time. Pizza can be a turn on. Specially if you miss it and used to eat all the time.