Intimacy: Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did... - FML

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Spicy

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 900

You deserved it 10 071

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Bored

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 11:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 398

You deserved it 7 267

Turned on

By Anonymous - 31/03/2012 15:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 532

You deserved it 11 121

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 791

You deserved it 7 618

By Dlord357 - 07/11/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 045

You deserved it 4 005

By djfail - 01/09/2011 17:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 830

You deserved it 6 517

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 736

You deserved it 32 273

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 614

You deserved it 15 433

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Spicy

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 769

You deserved it 4 763

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 02:29 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 173

You deserved it 2 819

By therevsev - 02/10/2011 06:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 604

You deserved it 5 086

Next

Top comments

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 22 December 2012 3:14

Cum in 30 minutes or less or it's free!

Snowble11 13

Saturday 22 December 2012 3:10

Just imagine the food network

Comments

THE_GLOW_CLOUD 9

Thursday 4 August 2016 3:51

I'd love to know how... wait, no I wouldn't.

J15237 25

Wednesday 27 May 2020 20:21

I would like to know if you are male or female please. Its okay to be turned on by odd things.

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, as I was trying to impress my girlfriend of three months, I showed her the real diamond ring I'd got for my ex. She got an attitude for our whole three-hour car ride home because I'd brought up my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 336

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 927

You deserved it 9 683

Today, my fiancé of 5 years left me for classmate of his. He says he feels more chemistry and a deeper connection with her, and if he moved forward with the wedding (most of which is non-refundable), he’d be marrying the wrong person, and it “wouldn’t be fair” to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 137

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 18 840

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 683

You deserved it 30 664

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 508

You deserved it 14 052

Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 112