Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went to contest a parking ticket in court. I came out 3 hours later, all charges clear, to a new parking ticket on my windshield, for the same amount I just got cleared. FML
Today, I got so anxious while trying to fight the ticket I got earlier this month that I passed out in front of the judge. FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, I went to court because I got a traffic ticket for running a red light. While I was in court, I found out it was actually for a car I had sold years ago. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML
Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML
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Top comments
CoolRainbowdash 15
He is right, it is bullshit.
Irishgypsy 2
I'm out of order? You're out of order! This whole damn court room is out of order!!!
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Comments (132)
zojieeu 6
He is the funny shit :D
flockz 20
i'm the boring shit.
redreynard 14
Judge Judy is getting to be one crazy bitch.
boating_guy 33
Imagine if she was prego...
nchov523 11
I do love spaghetti sauce
galacticstorm 6
then god help us(dramatic pause...and fart)
loserman67 36
"But Your Honor, I was rushing to the Childrens Hospital to deliver the ointment so badly needed for the burn victims, I swear!" "Son, it is my considered opinion that your defense is complete, unadulterated, bullshit. GUILTY!"
OhDearBetrayal 25
It would be quite sad if he was telling the truth. Poor misunderstood OP.
dankpotatoes 2
Bullshit.
monkeyhead641 6
Sorry Justin. Driving over 100 miles an hour is a ticket for you too. It is not the paparazzis fault
wetFeline 3
Dats wut u git fer drivin a girls car
rubberduckie94 13
He who represents himself in court has a fool for a client.
drtimblin 0
It's traffic court smart one. There are no lawyers in traffic court.
perdix 31
Not so fast, #43, I sat on a jury in traffic court. The defendant demanded a jury trial, so we deliberated for two hours to find her not guilty of a minor speeding offense. I'm guessing she spent 5-10x on her lawyer than the fine would have been.
drtimblin 0
In texas. :)
perdix 31
Yep, in Texas. Jury trials and creationism.
bfsd42 20
I have a traffic ticket lawyer. He goes to court for me and only costs $100. 50% success rate at getting my ticket dropped. So, yes there are lawyers in traffic court.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Isn't it dumb to have a lawyer? Between lawyer cost and then court fees you're paying the same cost if not more. The only time it would be helpful is if you're about to lose your license due to too many points.
Keliosan 6
Bravo to that judge. YDI, slow down(or stop doing whatever said ticket was for) or get better at bullshitting people. If you're an asswipe atleast be a great one, it's so much more shameful to be a failure and an asswipe.
perdix 31
Rushing home to prevent your friend from committing suicide because he failed to become a banker is not a valid defense. I saw a video about that in law school.
wetFeline 3
Rushing home to kill your cat that just shit on your bed is tho
Axipiter 24
Wouldn't he commit suicide after SUCCEEDING at becoming a banker?
wetFeline 3
Cat in my pic , DEAD
perdix 31
#37, no, it was his friend's lifelong dream to become a banker. Look up Newman vs. New York.
Axipiter 24
Ah got it. I just assumed someone would off themself if they did that for a living. Not judging, just I'D be bored as hell haha.
perdix 31
#100, I don't think you really got it. It was a Seinfeld reference. "The Ticket" 4th episode of the 4th season.
Axipiter 24
Nope, missed that one. Never watched Seinfeld. I actually looked up Newman vs. New York, and found nothing. Now it makes sense, thanks.
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Next time hire a lawyer then it will just be adulterated bullshit!
redreynard 14
Same goes if you put your trust in a public defender.