Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as...

By DWIcop - 03/04/2019 00:00

Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 813

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Same thing different taste

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 555

You deserved it 4 604

By Anonymous - 09/09/2015 21:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 255

You deserved it 24 724

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 148

You deserved it 53 563

By Ladyfarquard - 21/07/2019 04:03

Today, I got charged with drink driving, without even driving my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 547

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 07:33 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 413

You deserved it 16 506

By driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 170

You deserved it 30 980

Not drunk, just sad

By literally for crying out loud! - 06/08/2023 14:00

Today I bombed a very important test. Being too upset to drive, I pulled into a lot and sobbed hysterically. A security guard tapped my window and demanded I move immediately. I tried to explain that I wasn’t in a state to drive, so he called the police on me. I was detained under suspicion of DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 125

You deserved it 3 481

By ashleyyyy - 28/10/2011 15:59 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 794

You deserved it 2 793

By notdrivinganytimesoon - 04/03/2015 02:35 - United States - Richardson

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 255

You deserved it 7 686

TxKitten79 10

Wednesday 3 April 2019 1:07

I laughed. sorry.

stormy0307 16

Wednesday 3 April 2019 14:08

Driving while intoxicated. It’s the American legal term for drunk driving or driving while on drugs.

Comments

Jonkbaby 22

Wednesday 3 April 2019 0:10

Arrest 'em all!

TxKitten79 10

Wednesday 3 April 2019 1:07

I laughed. sorry.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 April 2019 5:13

I’ll bet you caused more damage than all of your perps.

abfab5300 13

Wednesday 3 April 2019 7:28

What does DWI stand for?

stormy0307 16

Wednesday 3 April 2019 14:08

Driving while intoxicated. It’s the American legal term for drunk driving or driving while on drugs.

Akitakat 31

Wednesday 3 April 2019 22:43

Drunk driving is No joke! Thank you for helping get these people off the roads before they kill someone.

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Today, I went into a store for an interview. I've had several places wanting to talk to me and this job was a lot lower paying. I got a little cocky and when offered the job, I said I wanted some time to finish my other interviews first and see what my options were. The manager then took back his offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 721

You deserved it 27 640

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 243

You deserved it 289

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 44 422

You deserved it 6 810

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I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 114

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 166

You deserved it 9 575

Today, I found out I’m going through early menopause. My husband was finally ready to have a baby, after years of debate and saying he’s not ready. I warned him my ovaries wouldn’t hold out forever. He seems shocked that menopause happens to all women and is irreversible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 102

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 257

You deserved it 9 143

Today, i purchased myself 150$ Egyptian cotton 800-thread count sheets for my birthday, which came with matching pillow cases and everything. My girlfriend decided to wear a bleach face cream and ruined the entire set, and then followed it up with using part of my savings to buy herself a cabin vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 241

Same thing different taste

Not drunk, just sad

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