By Username - 10/07/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 187
You deserved it 9 379

Same thing different taste

Top comments

These teenage girls are getting more and more aggressive! Incredible...

Was she pregnant? Just like the past 10 FMLs involving pregos this week.


These teenage girls are getting more and more aggressive! Incredible...

What has this world come to!? Good thing that I'm on the "wining" crazy team ;)

If you're on the wining team, then I must be on the dining team.

DreBeezy 9

It's the hormones. They're making them stronger. Pretty soon, they'll rule over us with an iron ******.

Yes my favourite is Oeil de Perdrix 1996 Hahaha, I'm really no good at spelling ^^'

It supposed to be "winning", thanks for pointing out my mistake 37 :) and my comment above is a joke by the way ;) Humour people, humour!

Next thing you know, preteen girls will be lighting things on fire and toddler girls will throw stones at anybody walking by.

#23 same as i was thinking, means it not far when it will be only girls in mafia as well lol :p

45/50: All good. Thanks for playing along :)

Be aggressive! B-E Aggressive! *shoots a bystander* Whoo!

Was I the only one thinking about Friends?

#60, in case you didn't know, it's already happening...

Hopefully she didnt steal too much stuff from you

Teenage girls these days are just so screwed up in the head.

SenorJose89 4

Not your fault if she had a gun! Then you would have been up against a machine;p

IceColdSnow 11

How the hell does this even happen?

Lucious306 7

Did she have a weapon? If she didn't that's just embarrassing

She could shoot exploding dynamite tampons out of her ******.

+10000. This. It's inexcusable if she were not armed for you to have not at the very least bent her over your knee and tanned her ass. Personally I'm thinking broken limbs. Find your balls, son.

All teenage girls carry weapons... A mouth gun loaded with unreasonable bitchiness. It's very powerful & has been known to lay full grown adults on their ass. I should know, mine is always loaded & my dear Husband sports many a wound from it.

Did she steal your science boy comic?

72, Except if she's built like a brick shit house she may simply have overpowered him. Unlikely, but possible.

Even if she did, it's still embarrassing.

I've learned from watching Austin powers (because all things are in the movies are real) that all girls are really fem-bots and have machine guns in their boobies so yes she was armed.

xXxIracebethxXx 14

^ Didn't realize FML was now a church.

xXxIracebethxXx 14

I don't. I feel ******* hilarious, ASSHAT.

What is an asshat and where can I get one?

Misinterpreted Lyrics--Thanks For The Memories-Fall Out Boy: "But my AssHat is going bad..."

Was she pregnant? Just like the past 10 FMLs involving pregos this week.

No based on the other FML's, if she was pregnant OP wouldnt have survived that robbery

Ya you don't mess around with pregnant women

There's been an increase in pregnant woman in the past couple months, hence more FMLs involving them. They are the '50 Shades of Grey' babies.

Inheritance 10

When girls are on their period all hell breaks lose, so that could be the problem OP.

oh_the_karma 12

Well if she was armed then nothing to do but give her what she wanted. If not then that's just embarrassing and YDI!

Armed = let her mug you. Fist = keep your shit and bring her down

dankpotatoes 2

Those piggie tails are just so scary!

Some teenage girls are really scary..

perdix 29

Please tell me she threatened you with a large-caliber gun. If she had a pea-shooter or a knife, you're a wimp for not taking her down. On the other hand, she could be brandishing a ****** and some boobs. Those things have an amazing ability to extract money, etc. from grown men.

Yeah me and perdix would know. I got a lot of head at that high school but lost lots of money. Huh perdix

26, you have under 30 comments and perdix has over 13,500... You are not even worthy to compare yourself to him.

Wut r u goin 2 do bout it quar??? Me and perdix are best friends Holmes

This asshat sounds like five year old callin everyone names and actin like some shit.

Lol this fuckwad is butthurt from bein called an asshat

wetFeline - Until you have been here for a long time and have earned the respect of many, you can be "best friends" with the other long running commenters. But for now, *whispers* go to your corner.

Evr remember gay_boii??? Yeah that's me. I run this shit

wetFeline - I assure you that the FML community will tire of your bullshit very soon. Well, there it is. We're all tired of your bullshit. Please go away now.

Gayboii will be avenged!!!!!! Along with boners

Bahaha this kid is so full of his own shit. Did it ever occur to you that you might have had to change you account numerous times that no one wants you here? And by the way the only shit you ever did run was getting threads removed.

Man this oblivious guy up here is a real Debbie downer ... All you are!!!

Well wetFeline, it seems as though you have attracted most of the regular commenters to your stupidity. You have talent.

iamabamf 17

I'm sorry to ask, but this is a serious question...what does "quar" mean?

Do you guys feel special? Your communicating with someone from columbine high school :D

58- am I the only one who clapped for him?

He just loves negative attention, who in their right mind would name themselves gay boi

No one is coming to your aid, you will burn for your asshattery.

twisted_cherub 14

Perdix, I have often used the boobs ploy without trying, but I've never mugged anyone with them. I'm not sure how: Swing them around until he's beaten enough to yield? But, yeah, if she wasn't heavily armed he deserves to hand over his man card...well, if that teenage girl didn't already take it along with his money.

xXxIracebethxXx 14

#77 - CTFD, and get off your high horse, fucktard. You're not going to impress anyone on FML with what school you go to or who you used to be. So as wetFeline or gay_boii, no one is going to be bowing down to your inferiority. So sit your ass back down, you don't run shit.

perdix 29

Leave Britney alone!!!!! I mean, wetFeline...sorry about that. Twisted, it's easier than that. Just swing 'em around for a while, bend over and give him a down-shirt view, then sweetly ask him for cash. He'll be so mesmerized that he'll hand over his wallet without his eyes leaving your cleavage.

Boob_fml 6

Looks like Columbine's education system is failing.

wetfeline/ gay boii, I logged in just so that I could down thumb your comments into oblivion. Now I'm off in search of other horrendous comments you made so that I may thumb them down as well.

unknown_user5566 26

If her weapons were indeed boobs and a ******, they must have been below par. From my experience, a nice set of "weapons" allows women to extract whatever they want from men without violence. ;)

twisted_cherub 14

My comment from earlier got deleted, which I don't understand since I wasn't part of that whole argument. To reiterate: Perdix, I've been given things because of my boobs, but I don't know how I'd even go about "mugging" someone with them. Also, if she wasn't armed OP definitely deserves revocation of his man card. Unless the teenage girl already took it from him :)

perdix 29

#130, and I'll reiterate my response, more or less: You swing those things around and bend over to give him a down-shirt look. Then, ask him sweetly for some cash and he'll hand you his wallet without taking his eyes off your cleavage. After you leave without showing him anything more, the swelling will go down and he'll find his wallet missing. When the blood returns to his brain, he'll realize he was mugged by your boobies.

noisebox 1

Don't forget the co co butt factor too..,

twisted_cherub 14

I guess I'd call that persuasion rather than mugging. When I think of mugging, I think of violence. Even if I did hit a guy with my boobs, they're too soft to hurt him. But I get what you mean.

That's absolutely crazy. You would think teenage girls would have more class than that. OP, maybe take a self defense class or try MMA. Good luck!

Octwo 16

It doesnt matter how well he can defend himself. Society will decree he is automatically at fault if he hits a teenager, let alone a girl.

He doesn't have to hit her. He can grab her wrists or something. I was just trying to say he should be a little more careful.

galacticstorm 6

no matter what he does he will either be scolded for fighting back(cause heaven forbid he actually try and act in self defense no matter what gender attacked him) or he will be laughed at for being mugged by a girl.It's a no win situation I this screwed up society imo.

@ MCRaddict15: Teen age girl? Class? The same sentence? Unheard of.