Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
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Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML
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Top comments
americanafrican 32
i bet the smell just "flu" to you!
ndnpride88 25
Sorry to hear you feel bad. Hope you get better soon. You'll get him back one day.
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Comments (51)
vikky538 28
Aw.. But he is funny though
allforfun 23
A girl I dated was sick once, went into the bathroom after I pooped, and vomited into the sink immediately.
mollybelle 13
That is kinda funny though. I just hope he helped you clean up afterwards.
jonomc 12
Just a fart? That's not really the shit hitting the fan now is it? Unless he followed through.
NorthStars 6
sweet
PhoenixChick 26
Ya know, when me and my husband act like five year olds, it's more pillow fights and dumb jokes, less bodily functions. I'm starting to think we're the weird ones, after reading too much FML. Is farting on a sick woman intentionally actually considered fairly normal horseplay in a relationship these days?
Beckettze 5
the only reasonable course of action is to break up with him. Its the only way. If you disagree I will scream.
Geckosrock99 33
Get to screaming then. OP's situation is perfectly fixable without breaking up.
Levant7552 9
that's what you get for hanging out with a disgusting pig. Im guessing you two were made for each other as no normal person could date a swine.
Grenith 21
What an assclown. I'll bet he is a little bitch when he gets sick.
Geckosrock99 33
Just make him clean up the mess. He'll think twice about messing with you while you're sick.