Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
cessily 8
Poor crazy old cat lady aint getting no lovin
kiran_fml 5
Gas station condoms and ladies that smell like cat piss...sounds like you had an interesting day.
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Comments (82)
PamChopsWithMint 5
Buy your bathroom wall condoms with pride!
HSOMGF 5
What the hell is the point of this stupid story?
linkinpark98 24
I bet she gave that one homeless guy a dollar, and got an unexpected hug too. :/
ChaosAngel17 14
Was she giving you tips..?
robo_thunder 13
You shouldn't be having sex if you're to embarassed to buy condoms.
MEM0817 18
Not true 22. Buying condoms can be embarrassing, at any age. I'm in my mid 20's and still feel uncomfortable buying them. That's why I love self check-out.
Grimmerie 31
Hence the pregnancy?
breeY0 7
ummmm no. I would agree more with, if you didnt buy condoms because you were to embarassed you should'nt be having sex.
un1corns 15
29 - What's so embarrassing about buying condoms? I can't understand why an adult would be embarrassed about that, most people already assume you're having sex and therefore don't give a crap when they see you buying them.
LookOnBrightSide 12
22-*too
petlover7598 7
I don't think there is anything wrong with OP for being shy about sex. It is our society that doesn't openly talk about sex that is the problem. The US thinks that we should tell children all the scary stuff that can happen and then preach abstinence. Sex has become a taboo topic. I,however, am in a medical field where penis and ****** come up fairly regularly and I'll say that instead of "private area" or genitals, just to watch people squirm.
MEM0817 18
30. Yes, hense the pregnancy. I'm pregnant but that doesn't mean I wasnt using protection. Idk I'm just more of a shy person and although I'm about to be 25 I look 17 and people think I am. I've been stared at awkwardly by strangers because they assume I'm too young to be having sex. That's just me though. You should of seen the looks and whispers when I had to stand in line with my pregnancy test!
nazishooter 0
I should tell that to my brother
LO388 7
41 was correcting the first "to", which should have been "too"... shouldn't be thumbed down.
MEM0817 18
If she smelled like cat piss why were you the embarrassed one? I'd proudly be caught buying a condom over smelling like a bag of cat urine.
amberxxoo 6
Piss lady: Hi! Remember back in the day when you had to manually flush the toilets? Those were the good old days.
petraphotoDOTca 6
should have just asked her for one.....expired cat lady condom vs gas station bathroom condom....no diff.
blcksocks 19
Now when I was young ...
mhopper 13
We didn't use condoms! And weed wasn't illegal! Ahhhh the good 'ol days!!!
ZombieFayad 6
No need to be embarrassed, atleast it's safe sex. You'd be more embarrassed if you had a baby. :o
MEM0817 18
I wouldn't say having a baby is embarrassing. It's amazing. Unless she was a teenager, not stable enough or something like that.