Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
cessily 8
Poor crazy old cat lady aint getting no lovin
kiran_fml 5
Gas station condoms and ladies that smell like cat piss...sounds like you had an interesting day.
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Comments (82)
doodlecloud 27
Eh...it's not really your fault but I can't help but feeling if you'd just been less of a wuss then there wouldn't have been an issue. And what's embarrassing about buying condoms? If you're confident you're old enough to be having sex and you know what you're doing then you shouldn't be ashamed or anything.
GothInside 6
If u still get embarrassed buying condoms, ESPECIALLY in a gas station bathroom complete with homeless people, maybe u don't need to be having sex at all!!
princesskb 1
If you're too embarrassed to buy condoms in public you probably aren't mature enough to be having sex.
jerseyboy732 16
next time have the guy supply the condom
the_true_batman 10
I don't think there is any connection between being embarrassed about buying condoms and being mature enough to have sex. People who think so are simple. Sex is a private act between two people (three if you're lucky), just because you're embarrassed to have complete strangers know about your sex life doesn't mean you're not mature enough for sex. Some people enjoy their privacy, and if you can't understand that you're not mature enough to be on the internet.
twisted_cherub 14
I've worked in a store where we sold condoms and I've got news: we don't care. People bought condoms all the time and I never thought anything about it. Why should you be any more embarrassed about buying condoms than other personal items (i.e. tampons, athletes foot cream, rash ointment, athletic cup/jock strap, Justin Bieber CDs, male enhancement products, pregnancy tests, etc.)? Nearly everyone has sex. Being responsible about it shouldn't be embarrassing. It's not like the clerk knows the dirty details of your sex life just because you purchase a product related to it.
the_true_batman 10
How do you know she isn't embarrassed purchasing those products as well? It doesn't matter whether or not you care, embarrassment doesn't always have to be logical. It's like anxiety, some people get anxious just going to the mall. They know nothing is going to happen, but they still feel a lot of anxiety, and no amount of knowing that nothing bad will happen is going to change that.
marisadc79 0
Hey don't be embarrassed or hide for buying a condom you're being responsible and taking the initiative. No shame in that. Sucks the cat piss lady had to walk in on you though what a mood killer. Hope you got your condom.
sandinthewaves 5
Embarrassed, is the 1920's. Should we be ashamed of our sexuality.
MuseFan1991 14
i like the fact op mentioned that the woman smelt of cat pee even though it didnt have anything to do with the actual fml :)
aileen15 15
wall condoms are shitty and cheap if your gonna buy a condom get a good one for your protection not some condom from 3 years ago who knows how long that crappy condom has been in that dispenser condoms do have expiration dates u know....be smarter next time
LoganBurrito 6
Let the guys buy the condoms from now on. You save time, money, said embarrassment, and if he forgets to, you don't have to put out.