Gross, Cars and Health: Health hazard

Health hazard

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I watched a grizzled old gas station attendant, with a stain on her blouse, use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 231

You deserved it 2 917

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Same thing different taste

DMV blues

By HellisLikeTheDMV - 13/07/2012 15:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 690

You deserved it 27 284

By BrokeandDesperate - 06/12/2011 07:03 - United States

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 480

You deserved it 8 282

Nice try

By anonymous - 29/06/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 682

You deserved it 12 940

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 768

You deserved it 3 336

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 16:30 - United States

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 428

You deserved it 2 650

By Elmoo - 01/06/2012 01:20 - Netherlands

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 1 942

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 939

You deserved it 7 741

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 2 714

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 713

You deserved it 8 855

You OK?

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 103

saint_jimmy 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 17:00

After she gives it back to you, stick it down your pants and scratch your ass with it. Then just walk away. . .

Ancarnia 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:06

be happy it was her teeth she fiddled with.

Comments

NemuiTM 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:05

O_O wow...

pinkpillowz 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:11

yuckkkkkkk

Einstein714 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:24

she probably only had 3 teeth, right?

thebignixie 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:56

don't be mean, it's possible she may have had a booger wedged up there. we all know how annoying that is, right? it's just me?

bulldogs1 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 17:09

oh god....

UnicornsDoExist 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 19:23

Should've punched her.

pinkpillowz 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 19:24

lmao @ 23

to3_tag 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 20:00

that's adorable

davault 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 20:19

thats hot...

evig_fml 16

Saturday 23 October 2010 20:56

kinky?

quite_bored 9

Saturday 23 October 2010 23:34

How is the stain on her blouse relevant?

boyguydudemalema 0

Monday 25 October 2010 8:26

Bow chica wow wow!!

Ancarnia 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:06

be happy it was her teeth she fiddled with.

Justforlolz 14

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:14

Lol XD

NemuiTM 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:15

-_-

Kaiden2554 0

Monday 25 October 2010 8:28

Today I got something out of my teeth with their credit card. they were posed. FML

Rheannon 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:07

Save it for later lol.

afdude87 6

Saturday 23 October 2010 22:31

your pic scares me

GluttunousQueen 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:08

you can clean it or whatever, i don't see how this is an fml...

Dodlaf_fml 4

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:10

its just gross

suckerz 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:51

that is gross... why didnt you say anything?

stinstack 4

Saturday 23 October 2010 17:58

hah

Poepiepiesie 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 2:41

Agreed, but why would you give her your license anyway? Or is that an american thing?

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 24 October 2010 2:43

"Pardon me, would you mind not using my driver's license to pick your teeth?"

tampabayfan 22

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:09

lol

The_Walris 4

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:10

nice

EYYYBOOTS 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:14

lucky it wasn't her butt

MyFirstKiss 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 21:20

true that!!!!!!!!!!!!

kellyc007 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:15

awww thats sweettt

Fortuitous 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:17

You provide a very good description of her. Are you sure you don't want to have driver's license sex with her?

ifailplzinsultme 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:24

This is how **** movies start. Assuming she turned to you and said "Hello there..."

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 652

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 147

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 628

You deserved it 3 270

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 274

You deserved it 8 080

Today, the unhealthiest person I know, weighing in at around 350 pounds told me she was now a vegan. I then told her the Cheese-Itz, as well as the leather boots she was wearing wasn't vegan. She said I was wrong. I'm a nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 908

You deserved it 704

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 730

You deserved it 7 828

Today, a woman pulled out in front me and I couldn't avoid hitting her. When we pulled off on the side of the road to inspect the damage, she backed into me. My car is only a month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 106

You deserved it 156