Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
ZombieFayad
Mr Earth, Earth 33 years-old Single
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Expert level
Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML
WTF is that?
Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML
Improvise, adapt, overcome
Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML