Today, I was hosting a pool party, when my husband and his friends got the bright idea of lighting one of the party balloons on fire. Needless to say, it immediately exploded. In shock, he jumped back straight into me, sending me and my $400 cell phone splashing into the pool. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML
Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML
Today, I almost burned down my speakers. How, you ask? Well, some asshole at the party (I was the DJ) decided to trip me as I walked to the stage, causing me to knock my speakers into the pool. FML
Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML
Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML
Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML
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Top comments
emilieee_fml 0
Thats a smart man right there!!
Midrash 5
He is a keeper
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Comments (238)
UrLyfSuxx 0
Why pay $400 for a celphone?
angeluscado 15
'cause they might have gotten it for less with a cell phone contract? Mine's worth $650, but I got it for $160 through my cell phone company.
angeluscado 15
Probably. It just bothers me when people say stuff like that. I'm probably too sensitive, hahaha.
StRex1990 2
soooo what your saying is u were also watching them light the balloon on fire? i guess your not to bright either.
dkainjr 0
You shouldn't have been in the way
tylenol123 0
I have sone questions: •what fone do you have •Why di you need a $400 fone •why do you have a $ 400 fine without the insurance •whats your IQ
xrainbowshadowx 17
Some* Phone* Do* What's* Learn to spell before asking anyone about their IQ...Just because she has a VERY expensive phone doesn't mean she has a low IQ.
tylenol123 0
Hmm, maybe cuz im on my ipod. You really think i cant spell "what"? I could care less about making a mistake with a keyboard where the buttons are small, so why dont you grow up
bellabeautiful37 0
Get the f*** over it. Don't create drama jerk
nero9112 4
How I loathe your kind, a generation of lazy vermin. The greatest moment of human history would be when you die in a fracus due to your ignorance. For God's sake, the correct term is "could not care less" otherwise you would care less and the meaning is lost.
nero9112 4
If you feel a need to censor yourself then you are too young to use "****".
csmouton 3
Boys will be boys
Bellagab3 0
Well he's your husband so isn't that bill also his? x)
jbsington 8
They don't make hydrogen balloons anymore for that exact reason... where do you live, OP, where they don't use helium?
bellabeautiful37 0
Don't have a $400 phone. That's your fault for having it around the pool.
pip74205 9
Try putting your phone in rice for a while. If your lucky, the rice will leech out all the water and your phone will still work.
tylenol123 0
Not akways. My friebds ipod didnt work after thAt. It cAnt get the water out of the battery and hardrive all the time
noname246 0
Rice.