Intimacy: Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was...

By SG - 24/03/2012 12:14 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 434

You deserved it 37 488

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Shattered

By ParkerRommel - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 270

You deserved it 7 146

The pits

By BFF4L - 12/02/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 365

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 358

You deserved it 2 838

By Reliena - 21/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 578

You deserved it 29 205

Caturday treat

By Leah Magers - 30/07/2022 12:00

Today, I was about to climb on top of my husband for some fun time, when I stuck my hand in a giant pile of cat poop on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 286

By CutieBooty - 22/02/2011 21:02 - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 422

You deserved it 35 792

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 817

You deserved it 5 509

Hot and heavy

By k…… - 10/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 129

By stanDman - 21/01/2009 20:06 - Canada

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 105

You deserved it 10 969

Tanned pits

By huulo - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 28 410

calvo_07 13

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:29

You nasty

DrNuggetcase 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:54

(^_^)/ to ( ._.)

Comments

heavyworshiper 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:23

Wow this is terrible. Even if it was kinda bad I wouldn't say anything. That's a huge way for you to get a penile fracture lol.

merryhappy1887 20

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:24

Ydi for having stinky armpits yuck

Birdie_Sage 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:57

The only time she'll ever get hot with her husband is when she's out, fresh from the shower.

br0ccoli 14

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:31

Not unless they both smell. "stinky pussy, smell my sack"

ezelisko 1

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:31

not gonna lie... that's pretty creative and funny.

tara805 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:35

He's a nice guy(:

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:51

Didn't you know? Deodorant is the new lube...

kuges 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:31

Wierdo

athos1237 4

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:58

Damn you must of smelled bad for him to do that. Yikes!

bluewailer 4

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:01

Way to be sexy. At least he didn't raise your leg.

spacemanspiff78 7

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:03

He could just tell you that you smell like a bag of onions.

br0ccoli 14

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:34

Omgee your pic! Lolololol thats so messed up that I shouldn't be laughing

lolipop1234_fml 7

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:04

You obviously needed it then.

Luck77 6

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:04

It's sexy and you know it. ;)

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my future mother-in-law freaked out my very religious fiancé by telling him fornication is gonna send him to hell, because when I was with them in January we had sex every day for a month and she's still mad about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 403

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss's office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 427

You deserved it 5 312

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 166

Today, I got to go to the water park with my class. I jumped over the rails that maintain lines because there was nobody around and managed to break a toe. Hello, 7+ hours of roasting in the sun, watching 500 other kids have a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 6 371

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 079

You deserved it 3 607

Today, I picked my son up from school, and asked how his day went. He told me how his friend explained to him that his mommy snorts sugar with his uncle, and if he could try what his friend's mom calls "Booger sugar" when we got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 96