Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Quack
Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML
Dangerous words
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML
It wasn't me
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
Top comments
perdix 31
Why didn't you Heimlich the poor thing?
rhyannon11 7
Poor duck!
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Comments (146)
rhyannon11 7
Poor duck!
Wizardo 34
The poor thing choked on the B, it was sitting duck, never stood a waddle of a chance.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Sorry 21, that was awfully weak.
Dewoe 18
He should have swallowed...
Melix 31
Maybe that's why the park signs say "Don't feed the ducks" :P
Rozza17 29
#1: More like poor OP, I would feel horrible about killing a duck.
SexySlayer1248 18
You're not supposed to feed them bread, it has little nutritional value, you should feed them bird seed or other recommendations from vets or animal experts
hiitisbrooke 28
It was awfully beak, 33.
dogpfcorn 11
Dude giving ducks bread is bad for them, it makes it where their eggs can't form and get solid and instead they come out soft and the baby duckling has no chance of life. Stop feeding ducks bread!
PDSot 21
the yeast gets in the water if ur feeding ducks in a lake and it messes up their wings super bad feed them lettuce instead
LouiseD_fml 10
You just killed a lot of good advice ;)
perdix 31
#2, you mean, like, . . . "Duck!"
Dewoe 18
No he just killed a duck...
ast3150 13
Am I really the only one getting the reference to the "Advice Mallard" meme?
robotiick7 23
52-no your not the only one. I get it also
perdix 31
Why didn't you Heimlich the poor thing?
itsmichellebitch 16
Everyone knows you're supposed to give choking ducks the Heimlich.
LeeCards 8
I thought you were supposed to wring it's neck like a towel. That's what they do in Looney Tunes.
BrittanyLea00 11
What the duck! You ducking duck killer!
MrConcise 35
That joke wouldn't even quack up an immature 2nd grader.
GoodLookingGeese 10
Yeah right!
hallix 21
White bread is actually bad for ducks. Research is your friend. F that duck's life!
Pleonasm 36
What life?
ydi_4_suking 20
The ducks now nonexistent life
Fsvb 32
All bread is actually bad for ducks and wild birds. It only fills their stomachs up, but the nutritive values aren't good at all.
Sputnikspak 13
Yep. If you wanna feed the ducks, shredded lettuce is actually a pretty good idea.
SiriusBlack97 17
everything you touch will die. think about that.
PrincessPesa 20
What about rocks? Plastic? Styrofoam? Chill out, Sylvia Plath.
Aaron2913 3
u mean every thing u see u will fall on it
Cazz91 21
I heard you're not suppose to feed ducks bread anymore. I am thinking this is probably one of the reasons.
KawaiiCupcake 14
Well I still do! And I gave small pices and they soak in the water and their safe! Poor duckies, mostly during winter, are starving!
nnnope 26
44 - ***they're and no. not only is bread nutritionally inadequate for ducks (not to mention humans), it also makes them too people-friendly and dependent. bread is essentially junk food for them and can make them obese. why would anyone feed an animal something that isn't even good for people?? this applies to corn, too. corn has ZERO nutritional value. foods that are good for ducks, however, are things like birdseed, peas, oats and cut-up grapes.
LuckBeNimble 19
56: corn has good amounts of fiber though...
nnnope 26
taken from livestrong.com: "corn is probably not the best vegetable to eat because there are many more vegetables that are healthier, contain less sugar, and have more nutritional content."
Koios 30
From livestrong.com: "Nutritional Facts - Corn is low in saturated fat and cholesterol, as well as sodium. It's also a good source of dietary fiber, thiamin and folate." Just because something is not the healthiest doesn't mean it's unhealthy.
bethrocksya 9
Corn has NO NUTRIENT VALUE! Do your research! Why do you think it comes out the same way it goes it??? It doesn't break down and is used as a filler. You guys need to watch some documentaries or something. Educate yourself. Corn is one of the worst useless foods around.
kozzard 17
but it's tasty so I eat it anyway, along with mashed potatoes, chicken fried steak, red meat, and many other things that are "bad" for you to eat.
rocker_chick105 31
Oh my God give me a break. Corn gives you fiber, yes. It is not the most "useless food around." People aren't getting fat off of corn. IT'S CORN. Why can't we debate something like Big Macs? Not corn. Corn is fine for you. Relax.
nnnope 26
holy shit guys. I didn't say it's the worst thing ever. it's just not the most appropriate or nutritional thing to feed to ducks. goddamn. now calm your collective ****.
juwood 7
Not only is bread considerably low in nutritional value, but the yeasts and enzymes disrupt the ecosystem of the water, causing further damage.
Grand_Cookie 21
Farm birds are sooooo freaking stupid. We had some turkeys that would roost on a five gallon bucket until they were too big to fit. All but one of them drowned in it. Turkeys are especially retarded though.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I don't like birds, but das mean, yo.
shorty6823 28
I have 3 farm ducks. They won't go in the pond, but they will go in a wide puddle right next to it.
MrConcise 35
This particular duck seems stupid, if only because he was confused about the type of animal he was -- ducks aren't supposed to croak.
Grand_Cookie 21
How is telling a story about how turkeys are so stupid that they'll roost on the bucket we used to fill their and the other birds water and drown in it mean? I'm confused, yo.
chimocho 8
Maybe because you allowed those birds to drown. After the first one any responsible person would cover the tank up so it didn't happen again!
Grand_Cookie 21
They literally did it within 3 days and it was uncovered because it was under a leaking faucet and we didn't want to rot the floor out and we used the water for the birds. By the time we realized that they were roosting on it there was only one left. The bucket wasn't even by where the birds all hung out and we had never had trouble with any of the other birds so it never occurred to us that it was what they were doing until we saw the last one on it. He figured it out and there weren't ever any more problems with it. It's like how it might take a few days to figure out what's wrong with your car.
MsConfusedd 27
Well duck! (Damn autocorrect)
crazyjemjem 6
I thought it was funny..
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Don't turn your back on them. Daffy and his minions will want revenge.