Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
latuka 0
wow. im just getting pissed off reading these comments. everyone is asking the same stupid questions, and other people have easily answered them for you. you guys are retarded. the girl deserved it. she shouldn't have been under the table. and as someone already said, it wouldn't have been a 'reaction' if she thought about it before hand. why would a dog be there? i duno.. but why the **** would a kid be under the table biting people?! and people DO bring their dogs in their purses at a "high end restaurant". so THATS the **** why a dog would be there. stop asking "why would a dog be there" people!!!! holy shit.
ilikeeggs 0
I Would've kicked the kid too. My friend thought it'd be funny to slap my ass really hard when i was lying down so my immediate response was to turn around and kick him in the chest as hard as i could, its only natural. My little sister is five too but she doesn't crawl under tables and bite people. If the parents can't control their children its not your fault at all. I do feel bad for the little girl. I did get a good laugh imagining the scene going down though haha
notnormal 0
What exactly would a dog be doing in a high-end restaurant? And furthermore, why would it be under the table and biting you? Dogs don't do that. And then you kick a five-year-old girl? wtf?
dave2001soa 0
You people need to stop being so goddamned stupid. She kicked the brat as a reflex. The entire ******* point of a reflex is that you don't think before you do it. Jesus H Christ people. Why did she think it was a dog? Probably because she didn't have time to think logically before she reacted. Now stop acting like she was wrong.
TheScientist_fml 0
Oh shit. That sucks wow.....why was she under the table ?biting ppl? LOL and why would there be a dog in a nice resturant?
isantorin 0
something bites your leg. Do you think before kicking it? NO. You want whatever biting your leg AWAY from you! Silly kid. Hope the family understood. : (
danceydancetime 0
they should keep track of that stupid child. hmph.
scorpiogirl666 0
# 98. Funny, and yeah, I totally agree. LOL. Oh, and, um, WHY would you kick a dog? Honestly. What kind of a person ARE you?
elina_fml 0
#108: THANK YOU.
dcapp 0
so why did you think it was a dog? and why would you kick the poor puppyyyy? :(