Intimacy: Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob...

By potassiumgirl - 11/04/2012 19:53 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 073

You deserved it 38 925

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Work on your skills

By banana - 26/02/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 936

You deserved it 74 599

By Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 32 521

Spit or Swallow?

By buymeflavoredlube - 05/06/2018 05:00

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 789

You deserved it 990

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 661

You deserved it 29 406

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 802

You deserved it 6 812

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 273

You deserved it 8 513

Cool trick, mom

By fuck florida - 16/05/2014 19:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 471

You deserved it 5 998

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 1 560

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 5 751

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 324

Tweekz14 5

Thursday 12 April 2012 1:53

So I'm guessing you swallow?

nofearjenshere 12

Thursday 12 April 2012 2:06

It's a sin not to swallow, there are people starving in Africa.

Comments

sandinthewaves 5

Thursday 12 April 2012 9:27

At least your willing to out in the work, nice try.

jellybeardoggie 4

Thursday 12 April 2012 9:47

I think BJs are icky!!

radiocaf 29

Thursday 12 April 2012 11:20

I know I'd appreciate the effort you are putting into practice if I was your boyfriend. Let's hope it's worked for you and he is happier next time.

GoodApollo520 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 11:34

if I were him I wouldent complain. he is lucky he is getting anything!

jlej 6

Thursday 12 April 2012 11:57

deep throat... you're doing it wrong. or your bf is literally a horse and you're into ***********.

laevatin 2

Thursday 12 April 2012 12:07

Why don't people use bananas what it's made for, eating! I hope you know now how much it sucks to suck the banana.

twisted_cherub 14

Thursday 12 April 2012 12:38

Keep trying, sweetie. Ask your man for pointers.

laevatin 2

Thursday 12 April 2012 22:53

Definitely keep on trying sweetie... even if it kills you...

blackblade 3

Thursday 12 April 2012 13:31

Nice

Gauzl 2

Thursday 12 April 2012 14:23

Tell the jerkoff to do it himself, then we will see who's bad

MissMeManda 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 15:37

watch a lotta lotta ****(;

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I agree, your life sucks 35 738

You deserved it 3 530

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I agree, your life sucks 41 522

You deserved it 4 093

Today, my psychologist broke up with me, professionally. It's alright though, she told me it's her, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 159

You deserved it 809

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he dated me was because he was lonely, and I looked lonely enough to like him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 163