Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, I was finally able to come home after 4 months in a hospital recovering from brain surgery and physical therapy. While taking a walk around the neighborhood, my new neighbor's Rottweiler ran after me. I tripped while running, got bit, and went back to the hospital for stitches. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML
Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML
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Top comments
alstbv12 13
I swear my dogs aim for my balls when they jump...I think it's retribution for having their balls chopped off.
perdix 31
You shouldn't have trained it to fetch balls.
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Comments (128)
gonad_gobbler 1
I once knew a guy who had an eye lid problem and needed the thin skin from his scrotum for a skin transplant. The surgery was successful, although now he is a bit ****-eyed.
HannahLouise96 13
Bad-dum-tiss!
Llamacod 11
how could he be cockeyed? the skind was from his nuts not his dick
kandi_kid69 15
87- Just laugh at the comment and stfu. ):
whadduppslut 4
that sucks balls.
HannahLouise96 13
Yeah, you never know when life'll just turn around and kick you in the nut sack. Or paw you, as the case may be.....
KiddNYC1O 22
Why did you have surgery done on your scrotum?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
He literally busted a nut. Oh yeah.
KiddNYC1O 22
Thanks for that mental anguish. =P
DerpyGirl 0
That's ballsy.
skyeyez9 25
You will need to either keep your dog away from you or wear a cup until you recover. On a happier note, your doggy loves you.
rooney0710 5
LOOOOVVVEEE
SqueakyChipmunk 22
HATE. SEARING HOT FIREY HATE.
ImTheAlpha 30
A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What's with the steering wheel in your pants?". And the pirate says, "ARRGH, IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!"
gloria89108 1
Yikes !!!!!
luvscomplic8ed 6
At least he loves you :)