Miscellaneous: Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious...

By diggingaplotforone - 11/08/2012 23:47 - United States - Redlands

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 175

You deserved it 9 580

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Vengeance is mine

By shitty neighbor - 25/07/2021 10:01 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 458

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 388

You deserved it 50 966

By Cowan - 06/08/2009 12:27 - Belgium

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor… who is a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 853

You deserved it 125 357

By Anonymous - 06/05/2014 22:47 - United States - Sparks

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 433

You deserved it 3 824

By nothingtoseeherejuststealingtrees - 05/04/2016 20:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my neighbor. When she saw me cutting down trees on my lot, she interrogated me and called the police because she didn't believe I owned the property. She didn't call the cops when she watched someone steal a cord of wood from my property two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 829

You deserved it 1 333

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 12:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 248

You deserved it 1 292

By uugnfg - 27/07/2010 04:38 - United States

Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 583

You deserved it 30 356

By Anonymous - 17/08/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 137

You deserved it 7 980

Hiya!

By Jon - 05/05/2009 00:46 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 533

You deserved it 47 377

Better call Saul

By possibly a sweater - 05/12/2013 22:26 - United States - Wharton

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 562

You deserved it 24 481

igive 29

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:07

Plant drugs in his house and call the cops.

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:11

couldn't be gardening, **** no, that'd be WEIRD

Comments

marigabynq12 4

Sunday 12 August 2012 15:26

Hey whatever it is that you are digging up, the cops will now have to dig it for you to find these supposed school children.

oneleggedbeauty 0

Sunday 12 August 2012 16:43

Nosy fuckball. That made my day ^__^

xpaulatanx 10

Sunday 12 August 2012 17:15

Have the cops dig for you, and when they only find things that are NOT kids, then you can press charges against your neighbor for defamation, harassment, and the like. That, and you have a base for an underground/in-ground pool, if you like. :D Win-Win?

greeneye_fml 12

Sunday 12 August 2012 17:20

What a pathetic neighbor. Fuckball indeed.

babalooisbabaloo 5

Sunday 12 August 2012 17:57

Fuckball

shrdlu 28

Sunday 12 August 2012 18:36

A while back, the police were digging up the yard of a nice house not too far from me, looking for bodies... and they found some. It took more than a call from a neighbor, though.

snafu63 0

Sunday 12 August 2012 18:36

Maybe instead if being a sarcastic piece of s#!t try being a decent human being for once in your worthless life. He was curious and asked a simple question, how hard would it have been to give him a simple answer.