By jimmy - 19/08/2011 21:57 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 162
You deserved it 4 528
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Top comments

Awahso 25

Sounds fishy...wait that was a lame pun. That sucks though man.

319 13
ashyxlynn 3

you do realize you can get crabs other ways than just sex right?

287 10

Comments

Banana_Pancakes6 0

That would only work if his or his wives name was Patty...

3 14
skinthesnakes 6

hmmm her name is now patty, do you hear that jimmy your wife's name is now patty. that is all.

12 3
SerenaSerenadex3 13

In bikini, rather 'boxer' bottom because OP is a male.

0 3
hiyourcute 0

My health teacher got crabs from a dorm bed, or so he claims... But anyways, you can get it other ways than sex

40 1
F0xyTurtle 8

Why would your teacher announce that he has crabs to the class?

25 3
hiyourcute 0

I think he considered it a teachable moment

12 0
dearbarn 0

Well look at the bright side crabs isn't forever

14 2
jellybeans4833 7

You should be like "I just got diagnosed with crabs, and unless you tell me the truth i will bring a real crab and put it on you"

5 37
higgy6969 7

Holy shit that has to be one of the worst comments ever posted. Are you in 6th grade this year?

22 1
awkward_turtles 1

Don't hate on sixth graders :P. They can come up with better stuff than that.

5 0
slipperyeyebrow 0

I got gonorrhea and I'm not whining. hey, I'm so generous I share it.

10 48
juanitad 3

Your damn nasty.....thank god I'm married and my husbands scared of me.

2 3
perdix 29

Your wife was just trying to bring in some experience into your sex life. I'll bet ******* your ignorant, boring, prudish ass must be as dull as dirt. Let her learn the reverse cowgirl and ball-sucking and you'll be happy with the results if you don't ask too many questions.

18 43