By jimmy - 19/08/2011 21:57 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 163
You deserved it 4 528
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Top comments

Awahso 25

Sounds fishy...wait that was a lame pun. That sucks though man.

319 13
ashyxlynn 3

you do realize you can get crabs other ways than just sex right?

287 10

Comments

aiden1980 5

What a loser, try before you buy!

0 3
ashhxoxo 14

"don't let anyone tell you shaving your pubic hair will get rid of crab infestation!" Words of wisdom from Mrs. Man. Thanks scary movie. :)

5 0
BighornB 0

Sounds like she likes to get around, grab some butter OP and dig in.

0 4
essex 17

I feel like being "diagnosed" with crabs is the wrong way to phrase it. It won't kill you. Stop at the pharmacy and have a long talk with the missus. Count yourself lucky: my stepfather got crabs in his eye after a friend of his borrowed his underwear and returned them without washing them first. Stepdad scratched his junk, then rubbed his eye, and wound up in a medical journal.

4 1
sharleerose 4

IF I were to let someone use my underwear, I'd let them keep the underwear. Much less wear them if I did take them back especially if I didn't wash them myself! I guess it's a little different for girls but still there's so much wrong with what you said. Smh.

1 0
caligirl1623 5

At least it is pretty easy to get rid of!!! You're lucky she doesn't have AIDS or something worse!

1 1
NotFromUSA 6

Common misbelief: crabs (pubic lice) cannot be spread through contact with toilet seats and rarely with an infested person's bed linens, towels, or clothes. Shave! Sorry mate.

2 1
qazaq 1

That's cool you waited, it's rare for guys to have that kind of commitment nowadays, it really sucks your wife didn't do the same = / fyl

3 2
bullrider92 19

What makes you think you got them from her?Ignorance?There are many non sexual ways to catch crabs.If I were you,I would be saying sorry and checking where I have been.Unless of course you caught her cheating too.Then just kick her ass to the curb.

1 1
dmyers60 7

who invited crabs to the party??? oh yea your wife did

0 1