Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
Headshot!
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
Class act
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Sorry honey
Today, my boyfriend and I get along very well, but I’m not used to being extremely close to somebody. Every time we are together, I always somehow manage to elbow him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
How do you have that as a reflex?
marcranger 28
Rule 34 dictates that some guys are into that! You might be lucky, OP!
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Comments (98)
goth_pixie 15
I don't think he'll try to kiss you again... the message that you gave him says "GET THE **** AWAY FROM ME!"
ninjakomodo 3
I haven't logged into this site for a long time...but I felt I needed to here for 2 reasons. Number 1 is to ask, how the hell does that become your reflex for someone trying to kiss you? Number 2, I could not stop cracking up at OP's username. The .shit got me.
strohm89 3
Wow is your name Rachel and your cuddle buddy Joey. And are you friends.
divadro102 16
If he's new what happened to the old boyfriend? Abuse from him or too much reflexes on your part?
jagonaut6 7
You ******* idiot.
kalbrek009 20
Yes OP, we want to know how you got this "reflex"..either you've done it many times before in order for it to become a "reflex" (for what reason we do not know) or you're just a jerk who's into using excuses to knee a guy's jewels....
sanecatlady 13
Why do people say to "grow a pair" when they want someone to toughen up? The slightest nudge to a guy's pair seems to result in excruciating pain. People should say "grow a ******" instead, they can take a pounding! Betty White said something like that. :)
cheyenne7517 1
I hope he's okay
AKAR2521 4
what was kneeing him a reflex?
darkfireflame 15
Maybe lay off the self-defense courses? Just a little bit.