Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
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Top comments
bonafidehustler 0
Yeah, this would definitely be way funnier from her perspective.
redbluegreen 41
Eh, I wanted to throw up before from smelling someone's bad breath. But also, if you were both drinking the night before, throwing up in the morning isn't that difficult to do. Anything could've pushed you over, whether it'd be breakfast, noise, or your girlfriend's breath. Now, if you hadn't been drinking, then... FYL. There's a difference.
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Comments (119)
Imawhalerider 0
it would be worse if it where your gf's mother
CherishFlowers 0
Like #20 said, I always get up a little bit before my boyfriend to brush my teeth. I wish my boyfriend would do that for me. :(
were_giraffe 2
i actually feel bad for her it just seems rather cruel that you'd post that publicly about someone you supposedly love
jjjeah 0
Er. Vomiting is like, a biological reaction. How is he unreasonable? He couldn't help it. That's why it's a FML. I'm sure he didn't mind it that much but he was probably nauseous from the drinking as well.
jadeddream 0
LOL @ 23
Terrix 0
FYL. I don't get why people are blaming you for it. But I've always gotten up to brush my teeth before talking to my boyfriend. That or I put a hand infront of my mouth. Luckily, he does the same for me.
nikki1001 0
#20 and #24, are you for real?! That's ridiculous. My boyfriend makes fun of my morning breath all the time saying how bad it is and idc. And neither does he, seeing as how he still kisses me. If a guy can't handle it that's his issue, no need to wake up and brush your teeth about it.
colortherainbowx 0
I bet your breath smells worse on a daily basis.
Xero3g 5
At least you'll never have a problem losing weight...
AG_Pennypacker 0
If it was after a night of heavy drinking then I'm sure she'll laugh about it later if she really loves you.