Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bonafidehustler 0
Yeah, this would definitely be way funnier from her perspective.
redbluegreen 41
Eh, I wanted to throw up before from smelling someone's bad breath. But also, if you were both drinking the night before, throwing up in the morning isn't that difficult to do. Anything could've pushed you over, whether it'd be breakfast, noise, or your girlfriend's breath. Now, if you hadn't been drinking, then... FYL. There's a difference.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
shiat 0
HAHA!
hlks 0
morningbreath is a bitch :(
WomboCombo 0
Women with bad breath is ******* disgusting. If that shit happened to me I would throw up in her face and say you don't like the smell of garbage in your face why would you put it in mine? ******* disgusting. How hard is it to brush and floss 3 times a day. Mouth wash even. ******* mind blowing. She has to be trashy as ****.
catastrophicxJLC 0
shouldnt SHE be the one writing this?
3sec 0
did she drink with you?
Fy0urlife 0
LOL thats fking nasty man NASTY think about that next time ur kissing her. LMAO
finnaaas 0
That's ******* sadd. FYL. (:
CareBear0018 0
Don't drink that much.
Jurples 0
#86, I don't think that he could help barfing, he had a hangover. Sometimes, when you're hungover, you puke, and can't really help it. Chances are, he would have puked anyways. And, chances also are that neither of them brushed their teeth before they went to bed, them being so drunk.
Jessmess12 0
Lmfao thats really funny.