Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
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Top comments
bonafidehustler 0
Yeah, this would definitely be way funnier from her perspective.
redbluegreen 41
Eh, I wanted to throw up before from smelling someone's bad breath. But also, if you were both drinking the night before, throwing up in the morning isn't that difficult to do. Anything could've pushed you over, whether it'd be breakfast, noise, or your girlfriend's breath. Now, if you hadn't been drinking, then... FYL. There's a difference.
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Comments (119)
j1026 0
I'm with 43. I didn't think that bad breath could make you throw up ... shoot from now on after you drink jus brush your teeth like you're supposed to do before you go to bed anyways
NGM_KID 0
ummm......#43, go and smell a bag of shit and tell me you wont want to vomit :) But this, however, was bad breath so I see what you're saying. OP- That just plain sucks...
proud_liberal 0
Alcoholic! She should leave you now. You are addicted! Get help before you molest a small child! You are sick!!!!
123_asdfghjkl 0
Well first of all, you must have a weak stomach or her breath must have been really rancid, because puking is a little extreme. Also, if you were drinking the night before, even if her breath smelt fine, you still could have puked from the smell. Maybe you should tell her to brush her teeth before talking to you from now on.
cd5love96 0
lol. fherlife
jjjeah 0
46 - where does alcoholism come into this?
proud_liberal 0
49 you must be an alcoholic too, since youre defending drinking. You are sick
wh0regasm 0
haha gross
mdman_fml 0
DAAAAANG SHE MUST HAVE SOME STANKY BREATH MAN, im sorry man, i no wat its like, u should smell my sisters breath, altho it aint tht bad! lol
inerdablanket 4
#46/50; wtf is wrong with you? OP; Since the both of you were drinking, it's not like you would have had peppermint breath. She'll get over it.